sekai333
Things have been going pretty smoothly thanks to your advice. We try talking to each other, but we still need a lot of work. Things have been going pretty well until today. We got into a big fight today.
Long story short, sometimes I just don’t know if I’m not understanding him well enough. When we fight, I often notice that we think the same thing about each other. For example, he thinks that I don’t understand him at all, and I think he doesn’t understand me at all. He thinks I get too mad and upset easily, and I think the same about it. It’s always the same thing about each other. There’s a question that is always in my mind when we fight; “Yeah I might be wrong, but does he have to get THAT mad?”
Today, we got into an argument because we had made plans to spend some time together for dinner. When he came to my house, he said “Hey, is it okay if I leave after dinner? My sister invited me to go hang out with her and her friends.” So, in my head, I think it’s a little rude when you have plans with someone and you just decide to leave early at the last minute, and also, to just have dinner at my house and leave is rude as well. But I wanted to be fair, so I asked him if it was something planned, because if it was planned before our plans, then I wouldn’t have minded. He said “No, she just let me know right now”. I didn’t want to say no, so I said “Well you can go, I just wouldn’t leave early if I had plans with someone else”. After I said that, he got completely offended, and insisted that he will stay. After that, I remembered that we were supposed to go see a movie next week. So I said “We’re going to go see that movie next week right? It’s okay you can go, you can just make it up to me next week when we see each other”. But he just sulked like a child and said “No. You said no. So it’s fine. I’m staying.” Well, in my mind, if he wants to stay, that’s fine. If he wants to go, that’s fine too. But if he is going to stay, I don’t want him to be grumpy and rude and angry. He had a choice to leave, and if he’s going to stay, then I feel like he shouldn’t give me a guilt trip and act like I didn’t let him go.
That’s basically what happened today. Everything just went downhill from there. He wouldn’t talk to me the whole entire time, I tried talking to him and suggest that we watch movies, everything so that we could make up. He didn’t take any of it, and I was reaching my limit. So I decided to talk to him. What am I doing wrong and how can I make you happy. He just told me “When you act like that and when you do stuff like that it just makes me want to break up with you” I was kind of shocked. I’m asking myself “Really? We’ve been doing this for four years and you feel like breaking up with me because you decided not to go hang out with your sister?” Then he says “I love you so I want to stay with you and I want to fix it”. But everything we do, everything we talk about, it just never fixes anything. I think the one advice I need, is how to fix problems. How to talk about disagreements without offending each other, or making each other angry. I’m terribly sorry for pestering you with all my problems. But quite frankly, I feel like you’re the only one that could help me. Thank you for everything.
Sincerely, Confused.
