[Ask April Masini]

The simple response is to simply stop having sex with him. At age 40+ you’re in a lose lose situation since you’re now well aware he isn’t going to leave his wife, you’ve wasted six years of your life with Mr Wrong, and you haven’t gotten what you wanted from this relationship — and you never will. 🙁 I know you know all this, but sometimes hearing it from someone else helps.

It’s unfortunate that you not only work with him, but you work for him, so if you stay in your job, you have the added burden of seeing him daily. That said, you have no choice but to find your strength and discipline yourself to stop seeing him personally, stop sleeping with him, stop calling him personally, taking his personal calls, dating him, etc.

Then make a sign and put it on your bathroom mirror so you see it every morning and the sign should read: He’s not your best friend. Best friends don’t put you in a position where you’re bound to lose. What he’s done is selfish. If he cared about your future he wouldn’t have kept you in this no win situation — that is, no win for you.

That said, you’re not a child, as you yourself pointed this out, so it’s your responsibility to look out for yourself and recognize who’s for you and who’s not for you. Start cultivating some real friends who will tell you right from wrong when you lose your way.

I hope this helps Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter.