Ask April MasiniWhat’s of concern is that he went to such great length to plan this lie of going away for a trip with another woman and he did it in the company of his friends. That’s a lot different than his having strong doubts about you and having a sudden fling or getting inebriated and losing control on a single occasion. Bringing this other woman to a social event was a sober decision and very disrespectful on top of betraying you. That you wanted to make it work even after learning about this shows a great deal of forgiveness on your part, and that’s one of the tools of getting over infidelity. But it’s again, of concern that he lost respect for you trying to make things work.
I’m wondering what caused his sudden turnaround now. Did his ex-girlfriend dump him and now he’s running back to you? His motivation for wanting to make things work is important.
Right now, I think it’s too soon for you to commit one way or another to a future with him. You’ll want things to be the way they were before, but they can’t be. When you break your leg, you have to wait for the bone to heal. Your relationship has been broken and now you have to see if you can heal it, with his help. I know this is difficult, but you need to start talking and opening up the channel of communication that was clearly NOT open before he decided to take another woman on a boys holiday in January. What was wrong in the relationship that made it okay for him to do what he did? Try not to be judgmental and instead to find out where things went wrong. That’s your first step to getting back on track.
And while you’re doing this, be easy on yourself. No doubt your emotions will get stirred up, as will his, but unless the two of you are willing to commit to this process, there is no hope. Find out just how much hope and willingness to make this work there is.
I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and I hope you’ll follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url]
