[Ask April Masini]

People change; circumstances change and plans change. Although the two of you had a plan in mind for your future, it sounds like your boyfriend has now changed his mind because he’s afraid that if you go to your hometown to work, you’ll demand that he eventually move there to to be with you and won’t see his family as much as he wants to if he does. He doesn’t trust that you will move to your family’s hometown now, and then in three years, move with him wherever he wants when he graduates, so he’s giving you his “line in the sand.”

The question is, where is your line in the sand? How flexible are you? How trusting of him are you? If you are willing to find a job elsewhere — not in your family’s hometown — then there’s no problem here. But if there’s something else going on here, it’s time to face the music. If you think he is going to make moving near his family after graduation an ultimatum for the relationship then it’s time to get that out on the table.

You’re not at a breaking point yet. You just have to decide if you’re willing to change your plans or if there’s something else going on, or if your line in the sand is that you’re going to move to where your family lives and that’s the end of the story.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter.