Purplerain
Friends with benefits rarely works ! The fact that he cheated on you and you are still sleeping with him should make you sit and ponder and answer yourself If this is what you really want in your love life. He cheated on you at a difficult time of your life when you needed attention and care , not betrayal.
I want you to know that most of the times life is emotional, not logical and we most of the times put our happiness and safety in someone else’s hands but sometimes there is no sanity or logic in others’ reactions and behavior. It is your responsibility to analyze what is happening in your love life , never ever give anyone else the power to change situations in love and life in general , otherwise you will have a life or relationship not of your own making. Nevertheless, relationships are there to be negotiated , not so much with words , but with actions.
He told you he does not want to be in a relationship , he just wants to sleep with you.
After the breakup he should have dated you again and win you over again, real dating , not hooking up or meeting for sex.
As for your drug use I can clearly notice that you are having self destructing behavior . You are hurting yourself once by staying in a relationship for sex and second by substance abuse ! There is much more to life and love than this. I do believe that you need psychotherapy to help you deal with this double difficult situation of your life. Starting exercising would help a lot because it acts as medicine and relieves a lot of your tension.
It is a healthier approach to life and shows a lot of respect for yourself ! Being in a great physical shape is a fabulous pleasure, more than substance use.
Take responsibility for your life and body and date smart.
Go to April’s forum advice. Is is great ! Get all the help you need, but remember that there are things in life that only you can do, nobody else in the whole world can do for you. She wrote an amazing book on dating Date and think like a man. It is available on line, you can buy it and download it immediately and it will change your love life for ever. I do feel you are lost, and need all the help you can get.
There are amazing men out there! There are trustworthy fabulous men alive. We have to find them and know how to keep them. April’s book is one of the best you can get.
Please post your story in April’s advice forum , she has some excellent insights and a lot of experience. She helped me too and thousands of others.
