First of all let me clarify: “Coming out swinging” is a metaphor, not a literal description of what either one of you were doing. It’s an expression that people use to mean that someone got all upset. When I said she “came out swinging”, I meant that she overreacted — not that she hit you or tried to. Hope that clears that up! 🙂
Second of all, it sounds like the problem with gifts is just an example of her temper, and that the real problem here is that she can be verbally aggressive and unpleasant and you’re never sure when she’s going to behave badly.
See if you can talk to her about her temper. Maybe she’s not aware of how upsetting it is to you. Ask her if there is a way you can help her not get so angry when you give her a gift that isn’t right. You really need to get this gift issue out on the table (another expression — “out on the table” — meaning to put some focus on it and not ignore it) because the holiday season is coming.
I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and join me @AskAprilcom on Twitter, and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 🙂
