When people try and control your life, it’s because they’re afraid of what will happen if they don’t. She’s afraid of losing you to another woman, so she’s reacting to that fear by trying to create an environment without risk. As you know, this is impossible, and her attempts are just annoying you. They’re also the tip of the iceberg. When someone starts out like this, expect more — exponentially. I mean, even if you did what she asked, chances are, she’s still going to be on the lookout for other worries, and those will be addressed with new demands. In other words, this is a problem that isn’t going to go away without really looking at the root of what’s going on. When she started the relationship with a rule that you were not allowed to discuss past girlfriends, that was your clue that there was a problem. Our pasts are important because they inform our present and our future, and she can learn a lot about your by learning about your past, just as you can about her, as well.
I do think that your girlfriend is asking too much — but more importantly, I think she’s shortchanging herself. If a woman doesn’t control a man, but instead watches and sees what he does, what he values, where he spends his energy — she can have a much better idea about how he feels about her. When she tries to control him, she robs herself of a fair reading of the relationship.
Ask April Masini