Please re-read my advice.
This [i]is[/i] a boundaries issue — for YOU! 😮 Your boundaries are different than hers. She’s a twin and she’s a single mother so she has a different life experience and different needs than you do. She isn’t trying to please people — she’s trying to please herself, and she made it very clear when she told you not to drive a wedge between herself and her brother in law — which IS what you were trying to do whether or not you admit it.
I don’t think her “twin issues” are going to change because she dates you or marries you. She isn’t trying to date or sleep with her brother in law. She’s just close with her sister, her brother in law, and their children. Unfortunately, she’s more symbiotic with them than YOU’RE comfortable with. Stop trying to find fault and look objectively at your compatibility.
Dating is a process of getting to know someone, and you’re getting to know her. Right now, you’re very uncomfortable with her relationship with her family, and I think this may be a sign for you to move on. Trying to change her isn’t going to work.
I hope that helps!
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