EvieThe best and only thing you can do is to keep your relationship at the friends level. You did the right thing by drawing the line there. From my experience, whenever it has to do with feelings for a teacher, the first thing is to draw the line. Keep your academic relationship/life and personal relationship/love life seperate. I find that once I did that, I find it easier to deal with my feelings towards the teacher. That is my advice to you. That and give this some time. Time changes everything.
Don’t feel bummed out that you can’t be more than friends with him. You might feel that way right now and maybe for a little bit, but look on the bright side. Being friends with your teacher isn’t a bad thing as long as remind yourself not to and don’t cross the line. Having a teacher you get along with in school is a great asset to your success in academics. Even though in my case, it’s in college rather than in middle/high school, in my experience with my college professor who’s only a few years older than me (really young guy!), he and I have a great and healthy teacher-student relationship and this healthy relationship helped me in the long run. In the past 3 years since I know him and had my first class with him, aside from being my mentor academically, there were one or two times where he taught me life lessons and gave me advice, in his words, “as a friend”. He gave me advice as a friend. Academically, in knowing your teacher, it helps you in such that you know what his expectations are and how he teaches, so you benefit in getting a good grade in class by turning in homework that shows what he expects even when the syllabus doesn’t say it all. It helped me and I excelled in that professor’s class because I know what he expects from students (and not only his class did I excelled in lol).
I’ve been through the same things you did, having friends suspect and teased me about it. But knowing that from the start, keeping my academic life and personal life separate helped me deal with the teasing and suspicions easier, especially when people starting asking questions. I didn’t have to feel scared that someone might find out or feel my heart racing like you said you did. I find that I could face it head on. I don’t think you should try so hard in covering up your feelings. The harder you try, the more suspicious people will get. The last thing you want is someone misinterpreting your actions (you trying hard to hide your feelings) and/or start a rumor. In my experience, in separating academics and personal life, I can face this head on and not have to be afraid. I can admit to my friends that “yes, I like this guy, but I know that nothing will ever happen”. For me, it felt like some kind of new freedom.
And it’s great that you’re planning to talk to one of your close friends about it. It helped me a lot when I talked to my best friend about it, her being the first person I told. Does your friend have or had any dating experience? If he or she does, it helps even more. My best friend had a lot more dating experience than I did and it helped me a lot.
I hope that in sharing my experience helps you! Good luck! Things will get better and one day you WILL meet that special someone. In the meantime, enjoy life and enjoy being young!
