[Ask April Masini]

Thank you for the extra information. It helps a lot!

Here’s the reality check: Ten years ago, you met a 13 year old girl with whom you spent two weeks — you still didn’t tell me if you dated her or not– but even if you did…. SHE WAS 13 years old!! 😯 Then you met her again three years later when she was 16. And now that you’re 28, ten years later, you’re convinced this is the girl you want to spend your life with. 😕 And she lives 5 to 6 hours drive time away. 😮 And she cuts off your conversations on the phone and you’ve never asked her any personal questions.

Do you see where this is going?

I think there’s something missing in your own life that is allowing you to foster a fantasy about a young woman who is unavailable. I mean, even if you did ask her out on a date and she accepted — how are you going to date her if you live so far away? Long distance relationships can work, but there has to be commitment from both people and it doesn’t sound like she’s all that interested. Calling you once a year on your birthday is probably her youthful idea of good manners. She doesn’t have as much experience as you do in dating.

All that said, the very first step for you, if in spite of everything I’ve written, you’re still interested in her, is to call her up and ask her out on a date, then drive to her, pick her up, take her out to dinner, see if there is mutual interest, bring her home, and drive the five to six hours back to your house. Several times a month.

It doesn’t seem like a good idea, and my advice is really to start finding women in your own area code or zip code who you’d like to date. I don’t think you know her well enough to pursue the kind of relationship you want, and I don’t think, from what you’ve described, that she’s all that interested. But prove me wrong and ask her out on a date! 😉 If she says yes, and you’re up for the driving grind, go for it!

Let me know what you decide and how things play out. I’m here if you need me. 😀