marshjsSo now that I am left with next to no one, all I can do is work on myself. Figure out what the hell is wrong with me and make some serious life changes. My first instinct was to just get up and go, transfer to a new school in a new city, a new state and just start over. Unfortunately, transferring would mean I would lose credits and interfere with my financial aid. I guess I am stuck here in the middle of my mess. I have 8 months left on my lease then I think I am going to get an apartment by myself. I have never lived completely on my own, but I think it might be good for me. Living in the same house with girls who are dating my exes, the best friends of my exes just isn’t healthy. I need to be able to separate myself from the situation which is impossible currently.
I need to figure out what I am actually looking for. I was always on the search for the next new boy, but now I am just wondering why. Why do we all constantly look for a mate? Why don’t we think that we are not good enough on our own? It is such an ancient concept that we need a soul mate, that one even exists. It was the legend of the Greek God Zeus that began the concept. That we were 2 headed four legged creatures that were separated from our other half at the beginning of our existence by a lightening bolt. A legend as ridiculous as that is why we think have a soul mate that we need to find?
I have all kinds of theories going through my head about what is wrong with me. What is wrong with human nature to begin with. I don’t want to find my way back to normalcy, I want to find a new place that actually means something more than my current superficial life.
