Ask April MasiniYou wrote this line and it almost made me laugh because it’s so absurd:
[quote]When he is not being insecure and paranoid and depressed, he is wonderful, fun, amazing. The guy of my dreams.
There’s a famous quote that goes: But how did you like the play Mrs. Lincoln? And it refers to the play that Abe Lincoln and his wife were attending when he was shot and killed in the theatre. The joke is that anyone would think Mrs. Lincoln cared about the play when her husband was murdered, but that they mentioned the quality of the play in spite of her husband’s assassination anyway. So when you start saying he’s the guy of your dreams — but you lose track of the fact that he’s INSECURE, PARANOID, DEPRESSED — and don’t forget CONTROLLING, you’re acting like the person telling the joke. Stop and get the big picture. This guy is not a boyfriend. He’s an emotional prison guard. Unless you’re being paid to be his social worker, you’re not getting anything healthy out of this relationship!
The real question is why you stay with someone who is so unhealthy? There is some part of you that is familiar with walking on egg shells and lying to him just so you won’t invoke his wrath. Enabling is the term that comes to mind. When someone gets angry like he does, because of his feelings, and he starts blaming you, it’s time to hang up the phone or close the door or block his e-mails.
You can do better for yourself — and that’s the understatement of this evening!
I hope that helps with your confusion. Let me know if there’s anything else I can do. And join me on Facebook. I’d love to see you at AskApril.com on Facebook as a friend! Here’s the link: [url]
