[Ask April Masini]

I normally don’t think it’s a good idea for women to bring up “the relationship” and have “the talk”. The reason is that it puts the man either on the defensive or makes him feel like the woman has taken control of the relationship by bringing up this subject that he didn’t — and men never want to feel defensive. They want to feel like they’re in control and chasing after the trophy in you.

I’m not sure what kind of stresses your boyfriend has in his life now that are preventing him from moving the relationship further along, but you have to decide if they’re the kind of stresses that will pass or if they’re permanent excuses for him to not commit.

If you think that he is capable of a permanent commitment to you, then stick out your discomfort a little longer — but give yourself a time frame. The last thing you want to do is waste your time with someone who is not going to commit to you. I know he’s got all this wonderful stuff going for him and the two of you are doing everything right, but if he’s ultimately not available, you have to accept this and move on.

You can also gauge how he feels about you by his behavior. There’s a lot of information and advice in Think & Date Like A Man, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], which I recommend you buy and read. Some of the advice says that if he starts introducing you to his friends and family, you’ll have a clue he wants a permanent relationship with you. Anyway — read the book while you’re figuring out where he is in terms of a second marriage, and see if you can gauge his intentions from his behavior.

I hope that helps. Let me know how it goes — and I hope you’ll follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀