[Ask April Masini]

I’m impressed. 😀 Your understanding and ability to articulate the problem really resonates as true. It’s very common for women to become consumed with motherhood and forget about their romantic and sexual relationships with their husbands, and likewise, it’s common for men to see their wives differently after childbirth — even if they weren’t in a front row seat, they now often see their wives as mothers, and forget that they used to be girlfriends and sexual creatures of desire!

If you can get back to that latter phase, you can retrieve and reinvent your marriage — for your kids, for your relationship…. and for you.

You’ve got some work ahead of you, so my advice is to start treating your wife like a woman you want to pursue. Start seeing her as sexy and flirting with her. Send her flowers or a sexy gift. Take her out to dinner without kids and to a place where there are no kids at any of the tables! Begin to re-introduce champagne and chocolates, lingerie and cologne back into your lives. Get babysitters and take her away — out of the house with the toys and the sippy cups and the childproofed electrical outlets so you can BOTH forget, if only for a few hours, that you’re parents! Remember that she needs wooing — women warm up a lot more slowly, and she’s got some catching up to do on that front.

And let me know how things go. I’m rooting for you! 😀