[Ask April Masini]

Here’s what’s going on that you may not realize. He’s 20 and has been dating you since he was 18. That means he hasn’t had a lot of dating experience before he met you. While at 22 with your dental school graduation behind you and a super career underway, you’re ready to get married and settle down. He is not in the same boat — and it’s not because of you. It’s because of his age and where he is in his life.

He’s still got 3 more years of school, which is actually a lot from where he sits. And he cheated on you while you were away this summer and what that cheating did was make him realize that he isn’t done experiencing the world and women just yet. There is nothing you did wrong here — he is not ready to commit to you the way you want and it’s the first time in your relationship that you’re realizing this.

Here’s what I want you to remember: If you do marry anyone, you want that man to have sowed his oats and to have decided YOU are the cream of the crop and that he’s not settling — he’s choosing the first place prize. In order for a man to do this, he has to have experienced the amount of women HE PERSONALLY needs to experience to realize you’re IT for him. Some men are ready at 18. Some men are never ready. You need to find a man who is — and I’m not necessarily advising you break up with this guy, but acknowledge that you chose someone who isn’t ready for THE commitment you are just yet.

Your choice is to be loose and win him over (read Think & Date Like A Man [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]) but know that you will be having competition. Or, decide that you are in the stage of your life where you want to take that next step and settle down and marry and he’s just not on the same time table you are, making him a wonderful boyfriend for when he was that, but not the man of your dreams today. Tough choice, but maybe not. Put your feelings on the shelf and make a decision with your brain. It’s going to come down to you and what you want and your ability to take care of yourself knowing who your boyfriend truly is.

I hope that helps — let me know how it goes. And please join me on Facebook. I’d love to have you there, and here’s that link: [url][/url].