[Ask April Masini]

These are not beginner’s mistakes or rookie mistakes as you’ve pegged them. They’re basic mistakes and I hope you’ll take my advice.

First of all, it sounds like you described part of your marriage’s demise on alcohol and then some of your behavior with this girl on alcohol, too. You go to a lot of bars, if one is judging from this post, so I think now that you’re newly divorced, it’s time to stop frequenting bars and drinking too much since you seem to be blaming some of your relationship problems on drink.

Second, since you’re new to dating after your divorce, and your comment that this felt like the first date of your life with this girl, I think it’s high time for you to read up on the basics (and not so basics): [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url]. Read Date Out of Your League! It will help you understand how to date and how to date to win!

Third, there is no future with this girl — she’s made it clear over and over again, but you keep ignoring her signals. Anyone who tells you she’s waiting for a “booty call” upon meeting you is giving you the clear message she’s into sex without meaning — and there’s nothing wrong with that, except that you’re looking for a relationship, feelings and emotional commitment. You ignored her sexy dancing and grinding on other guys in spite of the fact that she invited you to the party where she was taking off men’s ties. And your line about other guys wanting to get into her pants should have been reversed — it’s not them, it’s [i]her[/i] who’s looking to get into someone’s pants.

Your friends are right. Move on — and play the field so that you can get your feet wet and understand what you want this time around, and what REALLY went south in your marriage.

You’re starting a new chapter in your life, and that can be very wonderful, but it’s also a time to do things differently. Choose wisely, my friend! 😉

Let me know how it goes, read the book, and follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter.