"April Mașini answers
questions no one else can
and tells you the truth
that no one else will."

I Bee-Lieve

Re: need your help! again.

#17245
Ask April Masini
Keymaster

Oh, dear. 😳 You’re 38, you’ve been dating this guy for [u]4 years[/u] 😯, you want kids, and you [b]just [/b]found out that he doesn’t want to raise them the same way you do?! 😮 I wish you had bought and read my book for women, Think & Date Like A Man, [u]four years ago[/u]! And I SINCERELY hope you’ll read it now. It’s $8.99, and downloads automatically (or you can buy it on the websites for Barnes & Noble and Amazon) right here: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. I don’t just try to hawk books — I write and sell them because they will help you — A LOT more than I can here.

First of all, you may or may not be too old to have kids. But given the fact that you’re pushing up against 40 and you want kids, DON’T WASTE ANY MORE TIME WITH UNAVAILABLE MEN WHO ARE MR. WRONG! 😯

Second of all, it’s really important — ESPECIALLY at your age — to be clear about what you want in your life and to communicate to the guy to see if you’re compatible. If you had done this in the couple of months of dating, you wouldn’t have wasted YEARS with this guy. Your description of your asking for what you wanted telegraphs a lot of insecurity on the issue. Why do you think that what you want isn’t worth asking for?? Or did you really know what he was going to say and put off the question for as long as possible? This is NOT a nails on the chalkboard question for a guy who wants the mother of his children to stay home and raise the kids. In fact, it’s a raise the champagne flute, I finally found a compatible mother for my future children question. 😉

Third of all, that your boyfriend has moved back in with his mother and has no plans to move out, at is age of 30 or 40 — is a sign that he is NOT ready for a serious relationship with you. After four years, he should be moving in with YOU! Not her.

You’re upset because he didn’t consider your feelings?? How about YOU considering your feelings, and getting back out there and finding a man who WANTS to date, marry and make a family with you! You don’t have a lot of time, so my advice is to download Think & Date Out of Your League, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], tonight! Read it! Break up with this Mr. Wrong you’ve been wasting a good part of your prime child bearing years with, and follow the book! Do what it says, and if you do, you WILL find Mr. Right and you WILL get married and have kids — but you have to be brutally honest with yourself, and that’s for starters.

I hope that helps and that you do the right thing!

See you @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

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