[Ask April Masini]

I think you’re misreading the situation. I know you have an educational degree in mental health, but when it comes to your own life, it’s more often than not that people don’t have perspective. Nothing personal — but I get posts from people with doctoral degrees who are lost in love!

It sounds like your girl has a lot on her plate right now — and that’s a gross understatement. She’s got an enormous amount going on. If she had custody of all three of her children taken away, something is very wrong. Normally the kids would go to their dad. That they are with her parents is of interest. Child protective services don’t come into a home unless someone reports her. So something is definitely missing from your story. Do you know who reported her and why the kids weren’t placed with their father?

She must be wildly depressed to have her children (including a one year old — yikes!) taken away from her. In fact it’s completely understandable that she’s too upset to have sex with you right now. Any mother would be devastated. This is one of the things I think you’re not understanding. You have to wait until she begins to get her ducks in a row. You said she’s getting help — what kind of help is she getting?

The second thing I think you’re not understanding is that if you only take a woman on “several dates” in 30 years, she’s not going to feel romanced or desired in a way that women appreciate. If you want to be treated as a sexual partner, you have to treat her as one, and when it comes to women, sex is not the same for them as it is for men. Women need to be romanced and wined and dined.

I know you already have an engagement in place, but I think you’d do well to read a book I’ve written called Romantic Date Ideas. It has a plethora of dates you can take her on that are designed to get the juices flowing. Here’s the link where you can buy the book: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/romantic-date-ideas.html[/url]. I think it’s a very good idea for you to read this.

As for your anxiety about her rejecting you even after the stress in her life is alleviated, if you can understand why the stress is there, what part it plays in her life, and if and/or how she is going to reduce it, then maybe you won’t worry so much. You said that you both have stress in your life, but you only mentioned her problems, not yours (other than her sexual rejection of you). Anything else going on?

I hope that helps. Let me know if it makes sense to you. And I hope you’ll join me on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].