[Ask April Masini]

You dated a guy who was living with his pregnant girlfriend?? 😯 And then YOU got pregnant with him right away? 😮 He’s been sleeping with both of you and living with both of you and you had ANOTHER child with this guy?!

When you have children together you create a lasting bond between the two of you because of the kids. There is no marriage to quit, and he’s living with both of you so, the best way for you to get clarity and some semblance of a fresh start is to move out (or have him move out) and get a court order for child support and visitation so that you have a schedule of when he will take the children and how much he will pay to support the children and when. You will have to deal with the fact that his other girlfriend will be your children’s’ step-mother of sorts and that she will help raise them, but the important thing is to have some structure in this big mess.

The personal challenge for you is going to be self discipline and boundaries. Your children are going to grow up very confused if you continue having him sleep at your house with you when he’s also sleeping at his other girlfriend’s house with her and raising her kids as well as yours, too. So get clarity for the sake of the children and yourself.

I hope that helps! Let me know how things go. I hope you’ll follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].