[Ask April Masini]

If you’ve been married for ten years, you’ve had other birthdays and Mother’s Days with him already. I wonder if this is the first time you’ve been disappointed in the way he celebrated those two holidays. If it is, then something must be going on [i]beneath[/i] the surface. A lot of times couples fight about issues that have nothing to do with the real hurt. In fact the classic fight over his not taking out the garbage is hardly EVER about the garbage! So figure out what the real problem is.

However, if you’ve been disappointed every year for ten years in the way your husband is celebrating your birthday, an easy way to fix that problem is to help him understand what you’d really like. Husbands aren’t mind readers, and while it would be nice if he was more interested in giving you a nice day, he didn’t do nothing. A dozen roses and a card are more than some husbands or boyfriends come up with. In fact, consider that maybe his birthday doesn’t get celebrated exactly the way HE wants it to, but he hasn’t said anything to you about it.

Use this opportunity to let him know what you’d really like for your birthday, and ask him what he’d really like for his. Sometimes the best birthdays require a little guidance in the planning. He may not know that what you’d really like to do is have a picnic by the lake or an overnight in a hotel. Or maybe you’d like to use your next birthday to go shopping with him and pick out your present on the day of.

I hope this helps. Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter. 😀