[Anonymous]

Thank you so much for your speedy input April! I agree I need to support myself, and I was until mid September of this year, I lost my job due to “economy” but they were really replacing staff with family members. Since then, finding work has become such a chore, and since I cannot drive anywhere (I live 18 miles out of the nearest town) it makes things even harder. Unfortunately, my name is on the lease, so he would be the one to move out, but then… I would have to also. I agree a steady income from my end would definitely change the circumstances in many ways.

As far as friends, the people I thought I knew and held close were the ones who were lying all along. I do not know who my friends are anymore, and that is probably also my fault.
I am afraid to show my face around town I am so embarrassed, people are starting to talk. That is why I wrote you, I do not feel I can or have anyone to turn to.

I think I need some time to reflect on myself but I am afraid what he will do with extra time on his hands. Stupid of me I know, but you are right, I am afraid of being left in destitution. I am only 25 but I do not want to start all over when I have put so much effort into what I have now. I know I cannot change him but if there is any possibility to patch things up, I would rather. Do you think we just need a separation period? Do you think alcohol is a factor? I do not think by any means, alcohol is an excuse but could it be part of the cause? He was drinking (how much, I do not know) when he did these things. Alternatively, is he just lying to himself and me? Maybe the alcohol allows him to be who he really is (or wants to be). What are the signs he is trying to fix things? Should they be obvious?