Ask April MasiniFrom your post you know EXACTLY what is happening, but you’re disappointed. That is more than understandable. It’s expected. But to get a better handle on your situation you need to take a few steps back and see the relationship from a greater perspective. I hope I can help you do that.
It sounds like your wife has taken you on a wild ride with her chaotic behavior and demands — pill addiction, wanting to move, wanting your hours to change, etc. And you did everything she asked. That was the problem. She was looking for chaos and you were making things neat by solving the problems she presented. So now, she’s presented one she’s made sure you can’t solve. She’s told you you’re a bad husband and she’s given no examples of how you’ve been bad. The reality is she doesn’t want you to solve this problem. She wants to live in chaos and she may not be happy in it, but it’s what she’s used to.
I know you want her to be happy, but that’s her responsibility. Your responsibility is to be a good husband, father and human being — and sometimes that means letting go. I know you want encouragement, and if her coming back to you is what you want to hear about, I think that due to her chaotic nature, she will be back — and then she’ll create some more chaos, etc. — unless and until she gets PERSONAL HELP.
What you can do is to take inventory of what you need in your life to be happy and healthy and do that, but also know what is not yours to solve and tell her that you love her, but she needs to find a way to be okay in a normal life if she wants to be with you. The one thing you haven’t done in all these years is tell her what HER responsibility is in the relationship. Try that. It’s going to be hard medicine for her to hear, but it’s her only way out of her dysfunctional spiral.
I hope that helps and that you’ll let me know how things go. Follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url]
