[April Masini, your AskApril]

The real problem is the fact that your fiance is in jail for bad behavior in the military. This has got to be giving you pause. The fact that it’s happened [i]twice[/i] seems to indicate that this could become part of a pattern, where your fiance has trouble controlling his own behavior. And because he’s your fiance, his behavior is affecting you. If you had children, it would be affecting them, too. 😕

My advice is to stop hanging out at the bar and stop connecting with your fiance’s buddy. Clear your head and decide if you really want to marry your fiance or not. Make that decision without any distractions from this other guy. If you don’t want to marry your fiance, then take care of business without involving a third party. If you end the engagement and stop dating your fiance, THEN you can connect with this other guy. But not now.

If you DO want to marry your fiance, then stop hanging out at the bar where this other guy that you’re attracted to is. If you don’t want to have any contact with him, it’s easy to do. The decision is yours. 😉 You don’t have to be there and give him the message that you’re interested in him if you don’t want to.

The other point is that just because you’re attracted to someone doesn’t mean that you have to act on the feelings you have. Even married people are attracted to others outside their marriage — but they don’t act on it. Behavior is a choice. Every day.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 🙂