You’re displacing your anger about your situation onto me. I’m trying to help you.
You’re trying to will him into someone he’s not — that’s what I meant when I said you’re imposing your will on him. It’s not likely that he “pressured you” into being his girlfriend. I take it he didn’t hold a gun to your head, or blackmail you into dating him. 😕 People don’t pressure others into dating them — they invite them out or over, and you get to say yes or no. You get to show up or not show up. There’s no REAL pressure. You’re an adult who has free choices in life. You can say yes, no or maybe. You can decide to date someone or not date them. Instead, you’re blaming her for your choices. You’re angry because you expect him to be someone he’s not and you’re not able to accept the fact that he never was who you wanted him to be, and he was never going to behave the way you wanted him to.
If you are admittedly dating men who are bad for you because, as you put it: “I want to find love that bad, setting myself up for diaster…” 😯 then you have no one to blame but yourself. I understand you want love and a relationship, but don’t shirk responsibility in dating. Exercise your right to say no if someone isn’t compatible or behaving the way you’d like them to. Don’t stay in the relationship and then blame them because you couldn’t get them to be someone they aren’t. 😳 If a man is depressing and negative, he’s not good boyfriend material. Instead, my suggestion, as before, is to read Think & Date Like A Man, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], so you know how to find what you want in a man. There are lots of tricks, tips and pieces of strong advice in this book that will help you weed out the Mr. Wrongs so you don’t have to waste time and end up feeling taken advantage of.
I’m sorry you think I was being negative — it was never my intention. I just wanted to tell you where you went wrong so that you have the opportunity to accept responsibility, understand you’re not a victim, and make changes that will allow you to let go of your anger. I hope you can do that.
Ask April Masini