[Katie]

I met someone online…we had our first phone call last night. He called me, it went really well and 25 minutes later I had to get off the phone really quickly since I was picking up my son from work. I don’t like talking to men, sometimes even girlfriends, when my kids are in the car with me. Anyway, I had to hang up without much explanation other than my son just got in the car and I need to go. He said he’d call back in a couple days since he was going to be traveling today. Should I text him back with a brief explanation or an apology for the hasty exit? I don’t want him to get the idea that I wasn’t interested.

I’m not sure what protocol is in this kind of situation since I’m new to online dating…let’s face it, I’m new to dating, period, after having been married for almost 20 years.

Also, should I expect him to always make the calls and initiate things? The reason I ask is because I’m naturally a little more assertive than most women and it can be to my detriment; so I don’t want to screw things up when I’m looking for someone who will take the lead in a relationship. I’ve been the leader/initiator/head-of-the-household all my adult married life and I prefer it to be the other way around, I’m tired of leading. So what’s the best and most realistic approach?

The last guy I dated said he “didn’t feel needed, which was a turn off” to him…and said that I was “a strong self-reliant woman and appeared to not need a man.” And so, now he’s no longer interested. I admit that I did tell him I didn’t “need” a man, but that I “wanted” one…big difference. I feel as though a woman who “needs” a man is looking to be rescued from something. I, on the other hand, want someone who wants to be with me and I him…not based on drama, but on mutual respect and companionship.

Would love some feedback.

Katie

[Ask April Masini]

You mention that, “He said he’d call back in a couple days since he was going to be traveling today.” If you’ve read any of my columns on this topic, or my book “Think & Date Like A Man”, you already know that I strongly recommend that you let him pursue you. So, no… don’t call him and don’t text him.

Why? I call it

[Katie]

Thanks April!! I really appreciate your response.

I did as you suggested and things are going rather well, thus far. He actually called me the very next evening and has called every evening since. The conversation flows very smoothly, he leads with many questions, has much to say himself, seems open about his past relationships, and shares more than the typical surface stuff…it can be rather content rich at times. He asked me out for this Friday and I told him I already had plans to meet some girlfriends to see a local band playing around 8ish. So he asked to take me to dinner beforehand, I accepted.

I really like that he’s taken the lead. He calls when he says he’s going to call. He’s respectful and seems to be a pretty genuine guy.

Again, many thanks!!

[Ask April Masini]

Let me know how things are going for you…. 😀

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