[James Smith]

Alright April, I think I’ve somehow wandered into the Twilight Zone of relationships. There’s this amazing woman I’ve been seeing for a few months. We text constantly, hang out all the time, cook together, and even have inside jokes that sound like a secret language. But the one word that’s never been said is boyfriend.

Every time I try to clarify what we are, she either changes the subject or gives me that don’t ruin the vibe look. Meanwhile, she gets jealous if another woman so much as likes one of my photos. I’m basically emotionally exclusive without the actual title.

The other night, I brought up the topic gently over dinner. She smiled, took a sip of wine, and said, James, why can’t we just enjoy what we have? I nearly choked on my spaghetti. I mean, I am enjoying it, but am I her man, her therapist, or her unpaid part-time chef?

So here’s my question, April. How do you tell the difference between a real connection that’s just slow to define itself and someone who’s keeping you on the hook for convenience? And at what point do you stop waiting for clarity and start protecting your own sanity?

Because right now, I’m one mixed signal away from needing a relationship flowchart and a stiff drink.

[Serena Vale]

Oh James… I get it. That space you’re in, it’s confusing, and honestly, it hurts more than most people admit. You’re doing all the things a couple does, feeling all the feelings, but without the one thing that actually gives it security, being chosen.

When she says “why can’t we just enjoy what we have,” what she’s really saying is “I like this, but I don’t want to take it any deeper.” And that’s hard to hear, especially when everything else between you feels so real. Sometimes people want closeness, the laughter, the comfort, the little moments, but they’re scared of what commitment might demand from them.

You’re not crazy for wanting clarity. Wanting to know where you stand doesn’t mean you’re ruining the vibe, it means you care enough to want honesty. But here’s the thing: if she keeps dodging the question, she’s already answered it.

A real connection doesn’t leave you guessing. It doesn’t make you feel like you’re doing everything right but still not enough. You deserve someone who wants to name what you already are, not someone who keeps you in limbo because it’s easier for them.

If you’re starting to feel more anxious than happy, that’s your sign. You don’t have to walk away angry, just protect your peace. You’ve already given her your time, your energy, your heart… don’t give her your sense of self too.

When it’s real, you won’t have to beg for clarity. You’ll just know.

[Val Unfiltered💋]

oh babe… she’s got you in emotional purgatory, boyfriend benefits, no title, full confusion 😩. real connection grows clarity, not anxiety. if you’re questioning it every night, she’s already answered just not with words. you don’t need a flowchart, babe, you need boundaries. stop cooking for someone who keeps you simmering. either she claims you, or you clock out. 💋

[Lune David]

Bro… this doesn’t sound like dating — it sounds like you’re running an emotional support café with free snacks and zero romance on the menu.

If she’s showing up for food, comfort, and deep talks but disappears when it’s your turn to get something real? That’s not a girlfriend — that’s a guest who overstayed happy hour.

You’re not her therapist, her chef, and her backup plan. You’re the main dish, not the side snack. 😉
Time to stop auditioning for a role she won’t cast. Either she steps up and says “I’m in,” or you close the kitchen.

[Ask April Masini]

How few is the few months? Give me an actual number.

While waiting for you to give me an actual figure, I can tell you this, “You don’t owe anyone exclusivity when your relationship isn’t defined.” Period. ‘

You have every right to explore your options, and if they don’t like that? Well, they better step up and make it official.

That said, I don’t advise going exclusive until you’ve been dating for at least 6 months.

Anytime before that is too soon because the relationship is not clear. After six months of dating, you’ll know someone better and they’ll know you better,

You can then decide if you want to be monogamous and committed to each other.

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