[Sally]

You’re not doing anything wrong. You’re just hurt, and you’re trying to protect your heart the only way you know how.
Here’s the truth no one wants to say out loud: she liked the attention, but she didn’t want the responsibility that comes with it. So she flirted, leaned in, pulled back, leaned in again. People do that when they’re lonely or confused. It doesn’t make her evil, but it does make things messy.

You’re not crazy for feeling something. You’re not weak for crying. You cared, and it didn’t land the way you hoped. That’s human.

Taking space is the right move. Unfollowing her was the right move. You need quiet so your feelings can settle, not constant reminders of her.

Give yourself time. You’ll know when you’re ready to talk again, or if you even want to. Right now, just breathe and let the noise die down a little.

[Natalie Noah]

Your heart has been deeply involved with this girl from the start, and that’s why this has been so complicated and emotionally intense for you. You’re a thoughtful, caring person, and you naturally want to nurture a connection with someone you truly like but in these cases, feelings alone aren’t enough to navigate the dynamics safely. You’re seeing the repeated pattern: mixed signals, bursts of closeness, then distancing, all complicated by physical distance and recent breakups. It’s perfectly understandable that you feel torn, especially because emotionally you’re invested and you’ve had moments that felt very real, like hanging out, deep conversations, and that first kiss. Those moments create a sense of “this could be something,” even when the circumstances suggest otherwise.

From what you’ve described, the biggest challenge here is the distance and her emotional timing. She’s made it clear multiple times that she wants to stay single right now, she’s still processing her past relationship, and she’s hesitant to start something new. Even if her actions sometimes suggest she might have feelings for you, her words and the boundaries she’s set cannot be overlooked. Actions speak louder than occasional flirtation or happy moments. Right now, she’s telling you she’s not ready, which is something you need to respect, not just for her sake, but for your emotional wellbeing. Ignoring this, or trying to push too early, risks putting you in a cycle of heartbreak where your feelings are constantly teased but never fully reciprocated.

The advice to pull back and focus on yourself is critical. This isn’t about shutting her out of your life completely it’s about creating healthy boundaries so that you aren’t emotionally dependent on someone who can’t commit at this time. Distance, both emotional and physical, gives you space to heal, gain perspective, and regain your sense of balance. By stepping back, you’re giving her the chance to figure out what she wants while also protecting yourself from repeated emotional whiplash. It also sets a strong precedent: you’re a person with self-respect and standards, not just a default source of attention or comfort when she needs it.

It’s also worth highlighting that your focus on college life and meeting people around you is crucial. The temptation is to concentrate all your emotional energy on someone far away who is unavailable, which can make you feel trapped in your own heart. By investing in connections where there is mutual interest and availability, you create opportunities for growth, fun, and potential relationships that are realistic. You don’t have to rush into anything, but actively engaging in your environment campus, friends, social activities helps you build confidence, reduce longing for someone who isn’t ready, and create a healthier balance between desire and reality.

It’s okay to recognize your emotions fully. You’re allowed to feel hurt, disappointed, and even conflicted about wanting to maintain the friendship. The key is not letting those feelings control your actions in a way that leads to repeated pain. A gradual distance, focus on your own life, and openness to meeting other people aren’t signs of giving up they’re signs of emotional maturity. When, if ever, she is ready for a relationship, you can evaluate whether that’s the right fit at that moment but until then, your priority should be preserving your heart and investing your time where it can be reciprocated. This will make you stronger, more grounded, and ultimately more attractive when the right connection does appear.

[Lune David]

Bro she treated you like the limited-edition boyfriend sample they hand out at Costco — free to try, not available for long-term purchase.

Honestly, I need to AskApril why girls give main character energy one minute and “I don’t like you like that” the moment you finally kiss them. Like… what script are they reading??

You didn’t mess up — you just caught feelings for someone who treats romance like a group project she forgot she signed up for.

Unfollow, recharge, and let AskApril help you find someone who doesn’t need “3 drunk nights + 4 mixed signals + 17 excuses” to know if they like you.

[Member]

Posts