[averysmith456]

So i have this guy friend that i have gotten really close with this year (we are seniors in high school) and I am starting to have feelings for him that are more than just platonic. I’m not sure if he feels the same way but i have been picking up some hints along the way that lean towards the idea that he actually might. For example whenever we are sitting next to each other some part of us is innocently touching the other like our arms are pushed up against each other for no reason in particular. This happens ALL THE TIME otherwise i wouldn’t think anything of it. Also he always is trying to “fix” my life for me, like make it happier if i’m sad or something. He also recently told me i had to catch up on a tv show he watches and said that over the next few weeks he will be inviting me to watch all the episodes with him after school at his house. Lastly this happened just today, he never really asks favors of people often but tomorrow he needs a ride from the mechanic and there are people that live in much more convenient places to pick him up and bring him home but he insists that I am the one to help him out which is fine with me just kinda confusing. Alright sorry for the lengthy message but what do you think? Does he have more than just friendship on his mind?

[Ask April Masini]

Yes! 😀 He likes you as more than a friend. 🙂 He may be looking for some sign that you feel the same way — most men want something to chase, and that’s why flirting with them gives them the clue that you like them, too. 😉

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[averysmith456]

Thanks! You are completely right he actually just asked me out this morning! Thanks for your time!!!

[Ask April Masini]

You’re very welcome!

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[averysmith456]

k so me and the guy mentioned above have been going out for a little over a month and we really like each other but it is still really awkward, like the awkward stage of our relationship just won’t seem to leave. I think one of our main problems is that we are both extremely inexperienced when it comes to relationships (he is my first boyfriend and I am his first girlfriend). Whenever we try to kiss it just never seems to work out (one of us goes in for a hug by accident instead) and it was funny at first but now it is just kind of getting ridiculous. We have only gone on one date by ourselves and haven’t really hung out alone which kind of upsets me and I keep hinting at hang out alone but it always ends up that I’m at his house and so are like 3 of our mutual friends. He always talks about us doing something on the weekend alone like comes up with tentative plans but he never follows through. I really like him but I just don’t know how to get rid of the awkwardness between us. Please give me some advice… Thank you

[Ask April Masini]

If you’ve only been dating for a month, and you’re both inexperienced, that awkward stage can last a while. You’re more in a rush than he is to get over it, but eventually, it will become less awkward. One tip to make things less awkward, is that when it comes time for a kiss, let him come to you. Don’t you go in for the kiss. Let him lead. If you’re both leading, you’re going to keep bumping noses! So slow down and let him make the moves for now. 😉

As for getting him to ask you out on a date, try not being so available, and at the same time, flirting with him when you do see him — in other words, you have to give him something to chase. If you’re always there, hanging out, he doesn’t have a chance to miss you! And when he misses you, he’s going to want to see you more than when you’re right there. 😉

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[averysmith456]

The thing is I’m actually really busy all the time so like whenever I do have a free moment that is when we try to hang out. It just so happens that he always invites over other friends along with me. Also we were out at a concert at our school and there was a small party after it which I planned on going to and he asked me if I was going and said that if I was going the party would be an excuse for him to hang out with me. I want to tell him he doesn’t need an excuse to hang out with me, I don’t think he understands that we can actually just hang out for the heck of it, like we don’t have to have a specific plan. I just don’t know how exactly to go about doing this without making him feel weird about it… any tips?

[Ask April Masini]

Try the advice I gave you last time:

[quote]As for getting him to ask you out on a date, try not being so available, and at the same time, flirting with him when you do see him — in other words, you have to give him something to chase. If you’re always there, hanging out, he doesn’t have a chance to miss you! And when he misses you, he’s going to want to see you more than when you’re right there.[/quote] 🙂 🙂

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[averysmith456]

same relationship, different problem. Well maybe I wouldn’t call it a problem but its something. We’ve been dating for a little over 3 months now and everything is going great so far it’s just the other day he told me he loved me. See this isn’t really a problem I actually thought it was extremely sweet it’s just me that’s the problem. You see I think I love him too but I can never get myself to say it to him so whenever he says it to me I just smile and stare laugh and get nervous and then curse myself out later for not telling him I love him. I don’t know why it’s so difficult for me. Any ideas on how to get myself to not be as nervous about telling him? And also how do I know if I truely love him? I think the main reason I’m stalling is because I only want to say it to him if I mean it but I don’t even know if I mean it. Thanks for your help.

[Ask April Masini]

Follow your instincts. 😉 You’re not saying the L word yet because you’re not one hundred percent sure you have the feelings behind the language. That’s legitimate. I know that you feel awkward when he says the L word, and you’re not ready to reciprocate, but if and when you are ready, it will have been worth the wait for him, and he’ll know that you’re not saying it as a reciprocal manner — you’ll be saying it because you mean it.

People are often very uncomfortable with awkward situations — sometimes they even mistake them for real pain. If you’re very conscious of what you’re feeling when you’re feeling it and try to learn why you’re feeling what you’re feeling, you’re going to become very evolved and able to navigate relationships better than most people! Use this uncomfortable situation to create an opportunity to know yourself better, and get better at relationships, too! 😀

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[averysmith456]

Well im back 🙂 So I’m 18 I just met this really nice guy and I know he likes me a lot. The problem is he flirts with me 100% of the time i’m in contact with him and i’m not interested in him that way. I have a boyfriend (same one mentioned above) at home and I love him and would never think of cheating on him. I just don’t know how to stop this guy from flirting with me. I have mentioned my boyfriend to him like a million times and it just doesn’t phase him. He playfully teases me constantly trying to start tickle wars/playful wrestling and always takes any excuse to touch me and hug me and tries to get me to sit on his lap all the time well that is when he doesn’t attempt to sit on my lap. I have never had a guy be this forward about liking me. He compliments me whenever we’re together and it just doesn’t seem like he is going to give it a break. Now I know you’re going to say forget about him cause he just wants to hook-up but the thing is he texts me all day whenever we aren’t together and tries to get a plan formed so that we can hang out ALL THE TIME. It is getting kind of ridiculous and I just don’t know how to break it to him. How do I get him to stop being all over me without hurting his feelings? How do I get it through his head that i’m only interested in a friendship? Thanks for the help!

[Ask April Masini]

It definitely sounds like he likes you! If you like him, then flirt with him, so he has some clue about how you feel. 😉 Men like to do the chasing, but they like to have something to chase — some incentive, for instance. If you flirt with him, you’ll let him know that you’re interested. 🙂

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[averysmith456]

But I don’t like him! He’s the one flirting with me while I have a boyfriend… I’m trying to get him to back off but still be his friend. How can I do that?

[Ask April Masini]

I’m sorry I missed that part — that you’ve got a boyfriend. Well, that makes it pretty easy: You can’t be his friend. 😉 Men and women can’t be friends — primarily because one person always wants more than the other. In fact, this is a perfect example. He doesn’t want to be your friend, and you can’t change his feelings. And even if he does back off, he still wants more than friendship with you — and that’s not a friend! You can, however, change your own behavior. 😉 So if you want him to back off, decide to take yourself out of the equation, and you do the backing off.

Hope that helps!

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[Ethan Morales]

You’re getting real signs he’s into you: constant, casual touching, wanting to “fix” your mood, inviting you to watch his shows, and insisting you give him a ride. Those aren’t accidental that’s attention and preference. Treat it as interest, not a promise.

That said, interest ≠ readiness. Teen guys (and first-timers in general) can be affectionate but awkward about escalation. He may like you a lot but be terrified of screwing it up. So the mixed signals and the “plans that never happen” are more likely fear and inexperience than malice.

Fix the awkwardness with structure: create private, short, predictable one-on-one time. Don’t wait for him to “follow through” offer one specific plan: “Friday, just us pizza and that show.” If he agrees, don’t let friends crash it. If he flakes repeatedly, that’s information about his priorities.

For the kissing problem: stop treating it like a performance. Let him lead, sure, but give him an obvious out and a safe space. Laugh it off when you miss. Use little pre-kiss lines that take pressure off him “Okay, this is our practice kiss” so he can go for it without feeling like the whole universe depends on it.

If things don’t progress after you set up private time and make the moves easy, have one short talk. Be direct and low-pressure: “I like you. I want us to be less awkward and more real. Are you in?” Two possible answers. If he’s in, great. If he’s not, step back.
he probably likes you, but he’s inexperienced. Don’t chase mystery create gentle opportunity and clarity. Teach him how to move forward, or move on.

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