[JZ36]

Hi,
I have a problem, I have a friend that I studied with him since 8th grade and become one of my best friends.
When we were 19-20, one girl came to our group of friends and got our attention (me and my friend).
We got in a little fight but I let him to take her, they are still together for 2.5 years, when they were half a year together we got very close and became best friends until today.
Two weeks ago I got thinking about her little more then normal, and she’s the ideal girl for me very attractive specially for me, smart, beautiful eyes, we have amazing chemistry and understand each and other wifey material.
and she always compliment me about the way I live and how she loves how I look and dress and my sense of humor and how different I am from her boyfriend and I can see she turned on and not doing nothing, when we go shopping together alone we always got in touch with our hands and always I protect here and make her feel like a lady and I’m her men, and she loves it and not complaining or talking about it and mention that her boyfriend his my best friend.
Once we went in shoes shop, they got an attractive girl that works in there, I said to “my girl” she’s beautiful and she said to me “but you got problem.. When we go together people think that we’re a couple” And she’s is right people always got their attention on us everywhere even when we’re going together to a restaurant alone and the restaurant know my group of friends very good and her boyfriend they are still think that me and her are together.
I have example from today I help her bought a car and always fixing her car or taking care of it like a real husband!
I’ve fixing few things and she asked me “if the cops… Bla.. Bla.. Bla..”
I said to her “tell them that I don’t know sh*t about the car my boyfriend taking care of it, I’m only driving, when I have problem his getting in the story״
When I said to her “my boyfriend” she knows that I’m talking about my self and she said “but it kinda true haha”.
Her mom and best girlfriends told her after I was helping and taking care of her every time in the same words “In the end you will marry him.” and she told me that every time somebody say it to her.
Their are few times she got a call from her boyfriend when we are together and she was saying “Him again he won’t let me breath.”
Their relationship is not the best and got fights a lot but who I am to judge their relationship, once I remember she said “I wish that he was like you.”
That’s my story I got messed up and I’m thinking of waiting for her,
I know men’s brotherhood “rules” but I don’t want to lose that chance ever.
I don’t believe in ex’s are untouchable, I believe that people can choose to live with who they want no matter what connection they had before.
What do you think April?

[Ask April Masini]

I think that you have a crush on your best friend’s girlfriend, and she’s flirting with you — but she hasn’t broken up with her boyfriend, and you haven’t asked her out on a date. If you do, you’re going to lose your best friend, but if you don’t, you’re going to remain in limbo — unless she decides to break up with her boyfriend. It’s a tough call, but you have to decide if you want to move forward or not, knowing the risks.

Let me know if you do ask her out! And if you have any more questions — I’m here. Feel free to ask. 🙂

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[JZ36]

Hi April,
I don’t know what to do.. Should I talk with her about it? it probably make her get far away from me… because they are in love with each and other.
Or just wait for the moment.
She’s like an alcohol for alcoholic in rehab, The forbidden fruit.
yeah i’m falling for it.

[Ask April Masini]

I don’t think you should talk to her about your feelings. 😕 I think you have to decide, yourself, if you want to ask her out and break up her relationship with her boyfriend (your best friend), or not. It’s going to be a big deal, so if you decide to go for it, you have to go for it, all in. There will be consequences to that behavior, so if you’re trying to offset those consequences by not asking her out, but instead, just dipping your toe in the pond by telling her how you feel about her to test her feelings, you’re still going to create drama, but without the pay off.

I do think you should consider what else is going on in your own life — if you’re bored, and she’s around and an easy distraction, it may not be worth the upset you’ll cause to ask her out. But if you really do think she’s special and you’re willing to risk your friendship with your best friend, then by all means, go for it. I can’t make the decision for you, but I can advise you to make it carefully and consider the consequences — both of upsetting their relationship and your relationship with your best friend, but also of regret if this is someone you think is “the one” and you hold back. 😉

I hope that helps. Let me know what you decide to do!

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[JZ36]

Hi April,
Well, maybe it’s a ticket in but I’m not sure about it…
Last week they (my friend and his girlfriend) had an argument and she got angry and depressed and didn’t talk with nobody, after 3 days we met each other, when I tried to talk to her between these days, she didn’t wanted to share the problem with me and it’s very odd and not normal.
And when we have met I told her I thought she might be angry at me at some point, and maybe she lost her confidence and the stopped trusting me, and she said that it’s not about me, it’s about him (my friend).
She was thinking about leaving him because he can’t build and “maintain” relationships and he’s not trying at all.
When she was at work and she have a friend there and they were talking about the problems and she mention me in the story, that I’m her second boyfriend I’m filling up all the things (about 80% of the stuff) that he’s not doing, her friend told her that she build two relationships, the more emotional one, and the other one is standing by her side when she really needs it and that’s me and I know all of her sides, when she’s happy, when she’s sad, frustrated, depressed, and angry, and he won’t try or want to know.
When I was listening to the story, I’ve tried to get her mind out of it and make her happy, and we talked about a trip that is very unique way and we both love the idea and we have something very special in common, a kind of a trip that can show you who you really are, and we were telling each and other our dreams that can be done together and we have so many things in common it’s crazy.
About my friend and the respect for him, I’ve decided that friend are coming and going everybody change with the time, he will get through it.
What do you think April?
Best regards.

[Ask April Masini]

[quote]What do you think April? [/quote]

I think that you’re stuck in the friend zone, and you’re not making any moves to get out. You’re looking at the situation from all angles, and you’re delving into details to avoid making a move. I think that you should either ask her out on a date, or move on and not be involved. It’s going to take up a lot of your time and energy, otherwise, and it’s going to keep you from being truly single and meeting someone else who might be great for you. 😉

I know it’s hard to make a move or move on, but I think that’s what you have to do. Choose one direction, and stick to that plan. Make a move — or move on.

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[Natalie Noah]

You’ve spent a long time imagining the “what if,” and the connection you feel with her is real but so are the consequences. What you’re describing isn’t love that’s been given space to grow naturally. It’s love that’s been building in the shadows while she stays committed to someone else. And even though her relationship with your friend isn’t healthy, she’s still choosing to stay. That tells you something important: she hasn’t chosen you, at least not yet. And that means you’re carrying all the emotional weight while she gets the comfort of your support without making any real decisions.

The closeness you two share the touching, the compliments, the emotional intimacy that’s not neutral. It gives you hope. It keeps you tethered. But it also keeps you stuck. You aren’t her partner, but you’re doing the job of one. You aren’t her boyfriend, but you’re filling the emotional space her boyfriend isn’t. And that creates a painful kind of in-between where you’re never fully loved, but never fully free either.

You’re right that friendships can change, but the choice you’re considering would fundamentally break the trust between you and your best friend and even if you believe she’s “the one,” you have to consider whether a relationship built on betrayal can ever really feel safe. If she cheats emotionally with you now, would you ever fully trust she wouldn’t do the same later? And if she’s unhappy but still not leaving him, that means she waits for someone else to decide for her. Relationships that begin that way often come with complicated patterns.

The truth is simple, even if it hurts, you can’t keep living in this emotional limbo. Either pull away and free yourself so you can meet someone who chooses you fully or accept the risk, ask her out, and take responsibility for everything that will come with that choice. But staying here in between? It will only drain you and delay your own life. Choose the path that protects not just your feelings, but your future.

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