[aloma]

Hi April,

this is too detailed.. but i think it’s better so that the whole situation will be understood clearly..

We had been going out for 2 years and 10 months.. We saw each other almost everyday when he comes home from school and when my work for the day is done. He’s turning 26 this friday (jan14), and I’m 24..

Last Saturday (jan8), we went to a small party with his classmates and one of their professors was with them too. we were seated at a table, 8 of us. We were having fun, talking, singing.. but I had too much to drink. And I couldn’t remember much after..

his professor drove me home after the party and told me that it was all a misunderstanding and that things will get better in a while.. at that time i knew that we fought but I didn’t know the whole situation.

when I woke up the next day, i got a text message from an unknown number and it was reinier one of the guests in the party.. he asked me how I was. i still did not know about the situation.. so i innocently replied.. until the fight the night before was brought up. he told me that he was talking to the one seated beside him, melvin. reinier told melvin that if he wanted to stay at his house he can sleep in his room but they shouldn’t sleep beside each other. and out of the blue he told me that I blurted out “i’ll lay beside you”.

when my boyfriend heard that, (he was beside me) he told me “is that so… from now on, we’re done”.. and then all of a sudden (this, i remember vaguely but i also do not know why that was brought up) I told him about the girl i knew that he was flirting with.. when I’m not around.

his friends and his professor were trying to fix the situation and they were telling bf that the whole thing was just a misunderstanding.. they were also defending my boyfriend that the girl that he was flirting with was nothing and that this girl really flirts with anyone. but he didn’t listen to any of them and stuck to his argument.. that he wanted to break up with me.

i was really surprised and shocked. really shocked that I did that because i barely knew the person and before anything else… I was too drunk to remember that.. and that guy, reinier was NOT my type at all.. and I’m really, really, really sure of it. not attracted at all. so when i learned about it i was really shocked.. I never imagined myself to be with him. this may be a shallow factor but i think i need to bring it up too.. one reason is that he didn’t look good.. so anyway, i rushed to my boyfriend’s house.. (and i think many will say that it was not a good idea..)

when we talked, he was very very angry at me and told me again that he was already breaking up with me. he told me that he didn’t want to be with me anymore and that what happened that night was the last straw. however, his sentences had the phrase “for now” at the end.. he told me that “i should do whatever I want… for now”… he didn’t want to see me… for now..

when I asked him what happened, he told me the same thing that reinier said.

i tried to explain to him that i didn’t mean what I said and that i was drunk and after the party i just went home. then i apologized to him. he was still mad. he told me that if i was like that to reinier then during parties in the past that he was not with me he assumed that I acted the same way with other guys. but no, because my friends are mostly girls and gays and he knows that… rarely did i have parties with other guys present and if that was the case i didn’t get drunk as last saturday.

some points that i am thinking about are:
1. when he was including “for now” in his sentences it kinda gave me some hope that i could still patch things up with him and make up..

2. making that decision while under the influence of alcohol may not be reasonable..

3. i did not go with the other guy. i just went home. i didn’t have any romantic/sexual intentions with him. and i totally didn’t remember about that thing…

4. i know that it was wrong for me to get drunk

5. bf told me that he had to follow his pride no matter how bad he appeared in front of his friends because he knew that he will be the talk of the town come monday.

6. since he wants to meet this week so that i could give him his bass guitar that he left in my car, is it a way for me to talk to him again.. hoping that his anger has become less..

7. he told me that if that was what i thought about him (the girl) then that’s what he’s going to do

8. bf left the house to get away from things after we talked

9. i haven’t contacted him since we talked yesterday

sorry if it’s too long.. i just have a lot in mind right now… i can’t organize my thoughts..

do you think there’s hope? do i give him a gift on his birthday still? what can i do to fix the situation? 🙁

*sigh*

[aloma]

his mom texted me yesterday and was apologizing about his actions… and she was inviting me to go out with her 2 grand children. she also told me to just give him time..
❓ ❓
schocking.. but it made me a bit hopeful..

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You can’t just sit there — you need to do something so that this kind of problem doesn’t occur again. Clearly you have an alcohol issue since you didn’t just get drunk: you blacked out. You can’t remember what you said or did. This is serious and I sincerely doubt it’s the first time it’s happened.

You need to see your physician about your drinking problem and talk to someone in Alcoholics Anonymous so you can get the help you need so you won’t destroy relationships.

If your boyfriend knows that you acknowledge your problem and that you’re doing something to make things better (this requires more than just lip service from you), he may want to get back together again. But don’t let this relationship issue be the beginning and the end of the problem: address your issue with alcohol. If you don’t, it will probably get worse.

I hope that helps, and that you follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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