[LostInTranslation3]

Hi, my boyfriend disappeared. He never replied to my texts or calls. Until I finally got fed up and texted him that we are done. One day, I was missing him and so I googled his Indian name. He is a Yoga Teacher from a prestigious yoga company. He never mentioned his Indian name to me before. I only knew because I was watching him one time while he is browsing his emails. I mentioned it to him and he didnt deny. He travels a lot for work so sometimes during my leave he would organize a trip for me to HK where he is usually at, and spend my holidays with him. I found some baby stuff in his house and i asked him bout it. He said before there was a baby living there and the things got left behind. Because I love him and trust him I actually believed him. But after him disappearing I just cant help but wonder. After Googling I found out that he was married. His wife died in a hit and run accident in India April of this year. They had 2 kids, one is 6 mos at that time. I didnt know. He never mentioned. The story he told me was that he was born in SG and he is single. It hurts. I confronted him and he replied. He told me yes he did loved me but he cannot pick up with my pace. We had issues of him not contacting me for days when we are away. He admitted that the news about his wife was true but said he isnt ready to talk about it yet. He said he was giving me love and attention because he is trying to start over again. With me. But since it isnt working thats why he distanced himself to think and make himself prepared. He said i was such a sunshine in his life and that he still misses me and thinks of me everyday. I was in shock and confused at that time so i replied thank you and i love you. He responded saying “i hope this is just a small break” and I found myself hanging on to this statement. But im having a hard time because my trust is already shaken and the situation is now even more complicated. I still love him very much and miss him so much. I dont know what to do. Shall I move on or wait? Your advice will be helpful.

[Taven03]

Alright, you need to move on. Even if he still has feelings for you… This can only go badly. He didn’t just lie to you, you are his mistress! And you didn’t even know it.

It won’t be easy but delete his phone number get rid of things that reminds you of him and move on.
I know I am not April but I hope this helps you.

[LostInTranslation3]

Thanks for the reply Tavern03. Just to make it clear I am not a mistress. We became together September of this year. His wife died April of this year. But he didnt tell me anything about him being a widower and his kids.

[Taven03]

I see, that is a lot better but still being a widow is a big deal.

[LostInTranslation3]

Hi Tavern03,

Yes that is true. It hurts that he tried to hide it from me.

[Ask April Masini]

When a guy doesn’t tell you that he’s widowed, and that he has children, expect more of the same down the line. I think you’d do best to move on. I know it’s sad to think that his wife was killed, and that you care about him — but the fact that you had to Google to find out about his widow and his children,, coupled with the fact that he disappeared and stopped all contact with you, makes this a relationship that doesn’t have a happy future to you. He didn’t just lie. He left out crucial information and cut you off with no warning.

Time to move on, my friend.

[Lune David]

if I have to Google your real name and accidentally uncover a whole secret family storyline that sounds like a Netflix limited series… I’m OUT.

So disappeared like a yoga instructor doing “vanishing pose,” left baby stuff lying around, hid a wife, hid kids, hid his entire origin story… bruh, that’s not a boyfriend that’s a plot twist.

If AskApril says “move on,” trust me… roll out that yoga mat and downward-dog your way straight into a new life.

[Author]

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