[prettygood]

Ive been dating this girl for a little over a month now. We hit it off right away and seem to connect very well. We went to a bbq at her friends house last night. There were two of her ex boyfriends there. One of them was a serious 2.5 year relationship. I was blown away and shocked to say the least, when i found out that they were there. (she told me at the party) Watching her flirt and talk to these guys (at least thats what it appeared to me as, when she poked one guy in the ribs and was laughing talking about something.) She said that she told me that one of them may be there before we came to the party, but i do not remember. She may have said somehting like ‘Bill will be there’ but not explaining to me that was her ex, or maybe i didnt catch it as Bill being an ex. Whatever the case may be. She also hangs out with another ex boyfriend too and goes out dancing and stuff with him (and a group of people, not just the two of them). i was very upset last night haning out all night with these two guys in the room, playing darts, games, drinking and enjoying some bbq. knowing that she was involved with them.

HEre is my question… she thinks there is nothgin wrong with bringing her ex boyfriends around us/me. She said its over with them and she feels very strong about hanging out with them and having them around. I feel that it is not ok to bring your ex”s around your current relatinship. I dont think that makes any sense. Its hurtful to me, and its disrespectful. Yet she sees no problem with it. I would never bring my current girlfriend around any of my ex girlfriends! It just does not make sense and there is no need. I feel that if you still want a relationship with any past boyfriend than you shoud persue that and not see me. When its over with my ex’s, its just that, over.

This is an issue, we broke up over it last night.. but im not sure i made the correct choice by ending the relationship because i do have strong feelings for her. But in the same token, im strong enough to break it off with her if its going to crash and burn later. I can move on.

My question is: Is is ok for your girlfriend to bring past boyfriends around. Is it ok for her to still go out with them and maintain a relationship?

I sure hope i can get some help here, and ive never posted anything like this before but dont know what else to do.

thanks

[GPM]

Here’s a fact: women accept opposite-sex friendships a lot easier than men. Women see guy friends as fun and interesting, whereas men see those same guys as threats to their relationship. Basically, where talking about two different mentalities. My girlfriend has a male “best friend”, so I know where you’re coming from. I’d say the important thing is to communicate and to make sure that she knows what line she shouldn’t cross with those ex’s.

[redflags]

To add to GPM, the times she goes dancing she is with a group. The bbq was at a mutual friends house of her and her ex. It appears, and of course I can only assume, that the exes you have seen or heard her with are part of a circle of friends and she is not bringing them around you, they just simply happen to be there too. I also dated a friend in a small circle and recently introduced my new date at a party. The friend is still a friend, we just decided we were better friends than anything more. He is happy that I have moved on to someone that I am happy with. We all have a past and it is that past and experiences that make us who we are….and the woman you have become interested in…. As GPM stated, talk with her…..best to you!!

[Ask April Masini]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you. 😉

I am here to help, and happy to answer any questions you have. 😀

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