[slappedhappy]

Howdy,
I have been with my boyfriend for two years and a few months. We’ve been living together for a year and a half. We’ve had our moments, but we’ve always had civilized conversation about those moments. We’ve been able to talk things out and compromise.
I recently discovered (!) that I want to get married to this man. When I told him, he said he wasn’t ready for marriage and didn’t know if he ever would be. He says that he loves me, and also says that we are two very different people. He’s very outgoing and I’m very introverted. I’ve also had problems with social anxiety, which I’ve been upfront with him about.
Our discussions on the matter started turning more towards arguing, and pointing out instances where he was wrong, or I was wrong. We decided to take a break, and we’ve been meeting every couple of days for a chat. We’ve only been on a break for a week. Tonight, he told me that maybe what’s happening is that we’re realizing that we aren’t compatible. That we aren’t meant to be. I have had moments of anger when I felt like packing and moving out, but I didn’t truly entertain the idea of breaking up. Now, I am uncertain of what to do, or say, or expect.
I feel that the last two years have been wonderful, and that this is a bump that we can emerge from stronger as a couple. I told him this, but he doesn’t know what he wants to do. I don’t know what to do. I suggested a compromise, a long engagement. But he feels that this is just a temporary appeasment to both of us. I thought it was a good idea,but I can see that I was probably wrong. I want to believe this relationship is salvagable. But I don’t know what I should be doing to salvage it. I know I can’t change his mind if he truly wants to break up, but I can’t wrap my head around walking away from him. HELP!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Your social anxiety may stem from not “reading” other people. In fact, you didn’t read your boyfriend and now you’re very hurt. 😥 He’s been very clear with you that he doesn’t want a serious relationship with you. You can’t “fix” that because there is nothing to fix. While you are clear on how you see things and what you want, you’ve failed to accept his feelings. Relationships work when both people in them want enough of the same things that they agree to stay together and commit to each other. This relationship, sadly, doesn’t have those elements, and is over.

It’s a shame you wasted two years of your life with a guy who isn’t interested in anything more than dating, and that’s what I’d like to help you with. I’ve written a book for women who want to find, get and keep Mr. Right. It’s called Think & Date Out of Your League, and you can buy it at Barnes & Noble, Amazon or right here: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. I hope you’ll buy it and read it.

I’m sorry you’re sad, but I hope you won’t waste any more time with someone who isn’t Mr. Right, and start looking for someone who is! 😀

Please let me know how things go, and join me on Twitter @AskAprilcom (no dot!) and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 🙂

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