This has been such a painful and confusing journey for you. you’ve invested so much emotionally, helped him through a huge transition, and let yourself truly care and hope for a life together. It’s completely understandable that you feel hurt, used, and unsure about everything. The bond you shared, the laughter, the plans, and the intimacy all made it feel like something real and lasting and that’s why it’s so hard to accept that he may not have been as committed as you hoped. You were drawn to him because he represented love, excitement, and a sense of partnership, and it’s natural that your heart wants to hold onto that connection.
Looking at it objectively, he was never fully available to give you what you needed. He was married when it began, and even though he left his marriage, he was still navigating a huge life upheaval divorce, kids, custody arrangements, and the personal aftermath of ending a long-term relationship. During that time, he leaned on you as an escape and comfort, which isn’t your fault at all, but it does explain why his feelings and actions were inconsistent. The pattern of pushing you away, pulling back, and then returning is classic for someone who is processing major life changes but isn’t fully ready to commit.
You did nothing wrong by caring or opening your heart, and it’s important to really hear that. You weren’t used in the sense of being unworthy; rather, he used the comfort and love you offered while he figured out his own life. That’s painful, yes, but it doesn’t diminish your value, your love, or your ability to form deep connections with someone who is actually ready and capable of giving back fully. The lesson here, as heartbreaking as it is, is to only give your heart to men who are fully available emotionally, physically, and morally. You’ve shown that you can love fiercely now it’s time to direct that love toward someone who can meet you with the same intensity and stability.
Healing from this won’t be immediate, and that’s okay. You’re allowed to grieve the relationship, the plans, the bond you thought you had, and the hope you invested. But it’s also important to start taking small steps toward reclaiming your life and heart. Set boundaries with yourself and him, focus on your daughter and family, and rediscover the parts of you that bring joy and peace outside of him. Over time, the pain will soften, and you’ll be able to reflect on this chapter with clarity instead of heartbreak. You deserve a love that doesn’t make you question your worth, and that’s waiting for you just not in him.
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