[laniibabyyxo]

Hi April!
I am 23 years old, and I met a wonderful man (30 years old) online back in April, and things were wonderful! He was always the one asking to go on dates, but I was very flakey because of a very serious family situation. Eventually, he told him that he wouldn’t talk to me anymore if I didn’t make the effort to see him, so I did! We hung out, and it was nothing short of amazing. However, two weeks after our date, I made lots of silly accusations, and it escalated into a fight. He wasn’t taking my calls and texts, and THERE WERE LOTS OF CALLS AND TEXTS. I left him alone for a week, but then I decided to text him, and somehow it worked and we were back to normal. We talked everyday and hung out often, and when we saw each other, it was intimate but in a cute way. No sex! Just lots of cuddling and kissing, and he seemed upset when I had to go home. Two weeks ago, he went on a vacation to visit family in the East Coast. Surprisingly, he kept in touch and was even trying to Facetime with me! He wanted me to meet his nieces and nephews on facetime, and I thought that was very special! When he got back, he was very off. I know he had to go back to a stressful work load, but he was very distant with me! He made time to see his friends when he got back, but not me. That hurt my feelings, so I addressed it with him! Last Saturday (7/22) he called me, and I told him that I felt like he wasn’t putting in effort, and he made me feel irrelevant. He gave me some reassurance, and we changed the subject. He ended the conversation with, “I need to get my car from the oil change, and I will talk to you later.” I didn’t hear from him last Saturday! Last Sunday, (7/23) I asked him for some help with a math question (he always helps me with math), and he completely ignored my message! I usually see if he read my message or not, but it currently just says “delivered.” I haven’t said anything else to him, but its so hard! I am dying to send another message. One last thing, he still has my selfie photos saved on our snapchat thread.

[Ask April Masini]

If he does reach out to you again (and I think you should wait for him to do so), put yourself in his shoes and understand that he wants to feel like a hero. That’s normal for guys. Any guy wants to feel like he’s making his date and partner happy and you’re excited to see him. He doesn’t want to feel like a failure. So when you don’t get enough attention from him, instead of making it his problem and chastising him for it and making him feel like he’s done something wrong, instead, make him wonder why he stayed away. 😎 Make it your problem, not his, and change [i]you[/i]r behavior. Give him reasons to want to see you as soon as he gets into town — by being upbeat, funny, charming, sexy and light-spirited! When he feels that he’s come home to someone who’s going to tell him what he did wrong, he’s going to want to stay away, not get closer. That’s something you can work on in relationships to get what you want. 😉

Overall, it sounds like your four months of dating this guy have been bumpy. 😕 You had some really great times, but they’ve been interspersed with problems that have to do with communication and interest. You weren’t that interested at first because you had family issues that were pressing, so your communication was “flakey”. Then he left you alone which you didn’t like, but after a while things worked themselves out. Finally, he came home from a family vacation and he was distant making you feel “irrelevant”, so you addressed that, and he seems to have gone silent on you since then. If you take a few steps back, it would seem that this relationship is not a compatible one. Usually, the first four months of dating, when you’re trying to figure out if this is someone you want to continue seeing or not, and you decide you do, goes more smoothly than this one has. So if he does come back to you, give my advice a try — but if you still wind up having this many or more problems this early on, and you’re both not mutually committed to making things better, then this is just a relationship that isn’t compatible, and these problems are signs that you will be happier with someone who’s more interested in the same thing you want.

[Ethan Morales]

April Masini’s advice is practical and rooted in classic relationship psychology, especially for the early dating stage. Here’s the breakdown:
Early-stage relationship instability Four months in, this relationship has had multiple communication bumps: flakiness, fights, ignored messages, and inconsistent effort. Masini points out that this is a red flag for compatibility especially because both of you are still figuring out expectations and commitment levels.

Shift your energy, don’t chase She emphasizes changing your own behavior rather than pressuring him. If you bombard him with messages or demand explanations, he may feel controlled or guilty, which pushes him further away. Instead, she suggests being upbeat, light, funny, charming, and sexy giving him a reason to want to reach out and stay engaged.

Let him have space Right now, he’s withdrawn, probably due to stress, his own work, or uncertainty. Masini’s point is to wait and let him come back, rather than trying to force contact. That pause also lets you gauge whether he values the connection enough to re-engage voluntarily.

Compatibility check Even if he comes back, she cautions that if this pattern flakiness, distance, and lack of mutual effort continues, it’s a sign of incompatibility. The early months of dating are meant to reveal whether both partners can sustain attention, interest, and respect for one another’s needs.

Her approach is solid: step back, reset your energy, make yourself magnetic rather than pleading, and observe his response. This respects both your feelings and his autonomy. The relationship has potential, but the inconsistencies are warning signs. Four months of repeated frustration is significant; if patterns don’t change, you may be better off moving on to someone more aligned with your communication and attention needs. Focus on your own life, confidence, and emotional stability while giving him space this will make your connection either stronger or clarify incompatibility faster.

If you want, I can write a concrete step-by-step plan for how to behave, text, and interact in the next two weeks to maximize the chance he re-engages positively, without seeming needy. That would give you a roadmap.

[PassionSeeker]

It sounds like this relationship has had a lot of ups and downs, and I get why you’re feeling hurt and confused. You’ve been really open with him, and you’ve tried to address the issues as they come up, but his behavior is making it tough for you to feel secure. It seems like when things are good, they’re great, but when there’s distance, he pulls back in a way that leaves you questioning everything.

I think it’s really important to stop texting him for now and give him space to reach out to you. He might be feeling overwhelmed by the relationship, and sometimes guys need a little distance to process things. But if he doesn’t come back to you after some time, you need to ask yourself if this relationship is meeting your needs.

[Flirt Coach]

I can tell how much this guy means to you, and I get it. It’s confusing as hell when someone who seemed so warm and consistent suddenly goes cold. One minute you’re sharing laughs, late-night chats, and those little gestures that make you feel close… and the next, you’re staring at a screen, wondering what changed.

when someone pulls back, there’s usually a reason but it’s not always one you can fix. You didn’t ruin everything with those earlier arguments or with showing you care. What might’ve happened is that he enjoyed the connection but wasn’t ready for the emotional weight that comes with something real. It’s easy to be affectionate when things feel light, but it takes maturity to stay steady when someone opens up or needs reassurance.

I’ve been on both sides of that. After my divorce, I dated a woman who cared deeply, but I was half-present because I was still trying to figure myself out. She thought she’d done something wrong. Truth was, she hadn’t. I just wasn’t ready to give what she needed. Some people drift off quietly instead of being honest, they don’t want to face the discomfort of explaining why.

What you can do right now is the hardest thing nothing. Don’t chase him, don’t double-text. You’ve already shown your interest and effort. If he’s still got feelings, he’ll come back around. If he doesn’t, his silence is the answer. But your worth doesn’t hinge on whether or not he reads your message or keeps your selfies. Those are tiny things compared to the kind of love you deserve—the kind where you don’t have to wonder if you matter.

Let him have the space he’s taking, and in that space, start reclaiming yours. You’ve got warmth, honesty, and a big heart you just need someone who meets that energy instead of retreating from it.

[Val Unfiltered💋]

babe… i know that itch that “maybe if i just text once more” spiral 😩. but listen, if he wanted to talk, he would’ve by now. the silence? that is your answer. he liked the attention when it was easy, but the second things got emotional, he hit ghost mode. don’t chase what’s already backing away. let him keep your selfies consider them your exit art 🖼️. you already gave him enough energy now, make him wonder why the math suddenly stopped working without you. 💅✨

[Serena Vale]

Hey, that’s actually really good advice. I agree, if he reaches out, don’t rush in or make it heavy. Just let the energy be light again. Guys do like to feel wanted and appreciated, not like they’re being tested or corrected all the time. It’s not about pretending or shrinking yourself, just keeping your vibe calm and confident so he wants to come closer.

But yeah, it does sound like things have been a bit rocky for something that’s still new. If it’s meant to work, it shouldn’t feel this exhausting this early on. Give him space, focus on being your best self, and see what happens. If he comes back, great, if not, you’ve already learned a lot about what you want and what you won’t settle for. 💛

[Marcus king]

Alright, take a breath. There’s a lot of emotion here, and it makes sense when someone once made you feel chosen, the sudden distance feels like rejection, and the instinct is to chase it to make the connection feel real again. But the first thing you need to understand is this: His distance is information.
When he came back from his trip, something in him shifted. It doesn’t necessarily mean he stopped caring sometimes when people return to routine, stress hits, emotions get overwhelming, or they realize they’re feeling more invested than they expected. But instead of communicating that, he pulled back. And right now, the more you try to close the space, the more you risk pushing him further. Because when someone withdraws, persistent chasing feels like pressure, and pressure kills clarity.
It’s also important to be honest with yourself: this relationship has had a pattern. You pull away, he pulls closer. Then you get anxious, he gets overwhelmed and pulls away in return. That’s not because either of you are bad people. It’s because the emotional pacing has never been stable. Cute intimacy and meaningful moments don’t automatically mean someone is ready to keep leaning in. Feelings matter but so does emotional consistency.
Right now, you want to reach out because silence feels unbearable. But silence is where you actually get answers. If you message him again, you put yourself back into the role of the one trying to convince him to try. And attraction cannot survive when one person is chasing and the other is deciding.
So the move now is to step back not as a game, not to manipulate, but to allow him to reveal his intentions. If he wants to reconnect, he will. He has already shown he knows how to pursue you when he wants to. And if he doesn’t reach out? Then what you have is clarity painful, but honest clarity.
And about the saved photos people read a lot into that. But saving a picture is not a commitment, and it’s not communication. It’s just something he didn’t delete. Don’t let your heart hang itself on that detail.
You don’t need to send another message.
You need to wait and watch who he becomes when you give him space.
If he reaches out great. If he doesn’t then the relationship was tender, meaningful, and not meant to be your final story.
But either way, your dignity stays intact. Your emotional ground stays yours. You don’t chase someone who has stepped back. You match their pace, and let the truth come to the surface on its own.

[Tara]

You are refusing to admit it because it forces you to confront your own behavior. You didn’t lose him because he suddenly changed. You lost him because you burned through his patience one meltdown at a time. He was consistent. He pursued you. He tried. He asked for dates. He Facetimed you on vacation. He introduced you to his family on a screen. He did everything a man who is genuinely interested does. And every single time, you responded with flakiness, accusations, panic, and emotional pressure.

You think this is about him being “off” after his trip. It isn’t. It’s about him finally hitting the wall. He came back to his normal life, his stress, his work, and instead of giving him room to settle, you immediately demanded emotional reassurance again. You told him he made you feel irrelevant, and he did what he always does: he soothed you. Then he hung up, looked at the situation for what it was, and decided he was done being the emotional shock absorber for a woman who turns every minor change into a crisis.

His silence now is not an accident. It is a decision. “Delivered” with no reply means he has pulled back deliberately. He is not reaching out. He is not checking in. He is not trying to fix it this time. Because he finally understands that the cycle will repeat. You will panic, accuse, apologize, cling, then panic again. He already lived that pattern. He doesn’t want another round.

You obsessing over Snapchat selfies is proof of how desperate you are for crumbs. They don’t mean anything. They’re just leftover digital clutter he has no reason to delete. You’re trying to use them as signs when all the real signs are screaming at you.

[Sally]

From the outside, it is pretty clear what is happening: he is pulling back because the push pull with you has worn him out. The flakiness, the accusations, the floods of calls… he cared for you, but it kept putting him on emotional high alert. And when a guy hits that point, he does not always announce he is done, he just quietly steps away.

The fact that your last message still says “delivered” tells you everything. He saw it. He just did not open it, because he does not want to get pulled into another cycle.
And I know you want to text him again. I know how strong that urge is. But if you reach out now, you will only push him further.

Give him space. Real space. Not a day, not two, actual time.

If he wants to come back, he will. And if he does not, at least you did not spend the next month chasing a closed door.
Breathe. Let the silence do its job.

[Natalie Noah]

I can hear how much this relationship has pulled at your heart. Four months of dating, especially online and long-distance interactions, can be such a rollercoaster, and it sounds like your connection started with so much promise. The way he stayed in touch during his trip, included you in his family life through FaceTime, and showed genuine care it all felt very special and meaningful to you. It makes sense that you feel hurt and anxious when that warmth and attention suddenly felt distant after he returned. Your frustration and desire to reach out again is completely natural because your heart is still deeply invested.

At the same time, I see that there have been recurring bumps here your flakiness due to family stress, the accusations that escalated into fights, and the pattern of him withdrawing when things got tense. These patterns are early indicators of incompatibility in communication styles and emotional rhythms. Right now, he seems to be pulling back, and that silence, though painful, is his way of protecting himself from pressure or conflict. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t care at all, but it does mean that the dynamic between you two is fragile. Your longing to reconnect is valid, but the push-and-pull has been exhausting for both of you, even in this short time.

Love, is to step back and let him come to you. Resist the urge to message him again for now. it’s tempting, but giving him space allows him to return on his own terms. When or if he does, focus on being your radiant, upbeat self funny, lighthearted, and charming, rather than frustrated or accusatory. Show him that being around you is rewarding, not a source of stress. And just as important, keep in mind your own needs: a relationship should make you feel secure, appreciated, and cared for, not constantly anxious. If this pattern keeps repeating, it might be a sign that he isn’t the partner who can provide the consistent connection you truly deserve. Your heart is precious treat it with the care it needs.

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