[Countryboydtx]

Hello, My name is David, Im 25 and my fiance is 24. This relationship has been moving pretty swiftly, but it has felt right. we’ve been together coming up 5 months, and we already engaged. Everything has been great up until we recently found out shes 6 weeks pregnant. I feel really disconnected and at times. We don’t live together so it makes it tough.I may feel disconnected because im a very touchy, sensitive guy, and from what i’ve heard about people with mental disorders, such as anxiety and depression, they aren’t very touchy feely. Their way of dealing is being alone, and sleeping all the time, or maybe that’s just my fiance, I would have to beg her to stay the night with me at my place, just so we can be intimate, or be close….vulnerable, not even have sex at times, when we would “make love” that disconnection feeling would go away, Just because the feeling of being so sooo close. We maybe had sex once a week or every 10 days or so, so it wasn’t about sex. I want intimate time. and I can’t get her to leave her house to spend some bonding time with me. I maybe see her for couple hours a day, but thats me going to see her for lunch before i work, and then have dinner with her on my hour lunch break, then home to bed alone. When i try to explain that I feel disconnected or wanna be intimate with her, just lay in each others arms, for a while and enjoy the company of her. she says we have the rest of our lives for that, and she says im too emotional. Now we got the baby on the way. Im the only one working, she doesn’t wanna take any advice that I may have toward the pregnancy, like she wants to do it all alone, I am not able sleep with her and the embryo at night, Im here in bed ALONE. WHY DO I FEEL THIS PAIN IN MY CHEST.

[Ask April Masini]

Welcome, welcome, welcome! I’m glad you’re here — and next time you post a question, please post it in the Q&A forum, not the welcome forum!

Life always seems to throw people curve balls, doesn’t it? 🙂

First of all, if you’re already engaged to be married, and your girlfriend is 6 weeks pregnant, why not get married? ❓ It would seem the next step, and it would also address the issue of you living together. You can have a great, intimate fall wedding at someone’s home, a lovely restaurant or at a hotel. Even city hall with a great family and friends get together afterwards to celebrate can be romantic and exciting. The wedding may give your girlfriend something to be excited about, and something to start planning as a way to make your future together seem festive and bright. In addition, seeing your future together come to fruition in the wedding will alleviate some of your feelings of loneliness. So, set the date, and do what you were going to do anyway: get married!

Second of all, pregnant women in their first tri-mester are often exhausted. They want to sleep all day! It’s normal. They’re growing a baby, and their body is creating all kinds of chemicals and hormones to facilitate that baby’s growth, making them tired, and often feeling nausea. You may want to pick up a book on pregnancy to get the scoop on your fiance’s behavior during pregnancy. In fact, what a lovely gift for her, if you give her a book on pregnancy, and read it with her.

Third, she may be worried about the future since this pregnancy was unplanned. Marriage by itself is a big deal, but when you lump pregnancy on top of that, with a fiance you love, but in truth have only known 5 months, there’s room for jitters. She’s probably feeling them — and so are you. That’s what that pain in your chest is. Uncertainty about the future. 🙄

So step up to the plate, and set a wedding date. 😛 Figure out where you’ll live after the wedding (don’t push her to move in before it), and start making plans for the future so that your fiance can see you as the strong man and provider who will be there with her and for her as she becomes a wife and a mother, and you can see your fiance become your bride and the mother of your child. 🙂

I hope that helps!

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