[mhmcdade]

I like this one girl a lot. We text almost everyday. I’ve known her for almost 2 months now. only hung out with her three times because she lives kinda far, and she was on vacation for literally a month.
We have a lot in common, and I could really be myself around her. I just don’t know how to make a move, so maybe someone can help me.

I just can’t tell if she likes me or not. Shes always willing to talk and hangout, but when we do hangout like I make some small tiny excuse to touch her thinking she will do the same so I could go in a for another move, but nope

Last night we watched a movie in my basement after we hung out all day. We sat so far apart. How do I know if she is into me. Last time we hung, she gave me a hug. This time, we awkwardly stood said goodbye, and she didn’t give me a hug.

I know I don’t have any balls to do anything, but I just don’t know what to do.

I do remember her saying in some story and I’ve also noticed this too ,”My friend is she like me…”
SO maybe you can help?

[mhmcdade]

“My friend is shy like me”******

[April Masini, your AskApril]

How old are you? How old is she?

[mhmcdade]

We are both 21

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Okay, at age 21, you’re definitely old enough to ask her out on a real date. This means inviting her to dinner and a movie — or something like that where there is no mistaking the date for hanging out or anything else. Make plans for a lovely evening and look great when you pick her up at her house. Bring her flowers and enjoy the evening with her. If things go well, you can go in for a kiss! That’s how a typical first date may go — but you get to make it your own.

It’s okay to be fearful and nervous, but it’s not okay to let those feelings keep you from living your life. It sounds like she’s ready for you to ask her out, but the only way you’ll know if she wants more than a friendship with you is to risk embarrassment (I bet you can afford that risk!) and go for it.

The more you date, the easier it will get, but it’s normal to be nervous at first. Remember: Everyone has a first date and everyone gets jitters, but you have to ask her out so you can know for sure. 😉

I hope that helps. Let me know how it goes — and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[mhmcdade]

Hey yeah I want to. This is a college chick we are talking about that likes to go out every weekend, and has soo many guy friends. I can’t even tell if she is into me. Well, she does respond to all my texts, and when I ask her to hangout she is more than excited. How do I know if I’M being played? Weird for a guy to say that, but I have met many girls that just love the attention but don’t want anything serious. I don’t know what it is I’m doing wrong, because I have pretty much failed every opportunity I have had with every girl. This one is attractive, nice, and has so many friends. I guess I come off as needy for texting so much.

On Monday night after we hungout, me her friend and my friends. I just told her I’m kind of into her over a text, and I’m getting the feeling she wants me to back off. She didn’t respond to that, but next day she texted me. Just ask how my bday was.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m not sure how you think she might be playing you…. 😕 when you’ve only known her two months and hung out three times — it seems you haven’t even dated! 😮 Why don’t you read Think & Date Like A Man, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url], so you get a little more insight into what women want and how to win them over. I recommended this book to you last time you wrote and I still think it’s a good read for you. It’s going to help you get over your fear of rejection and understand that it’s time for you to take her out and stop worrying that someone you’ve never dated before is playing you. 😉

I hope that helps. Let me know how it goes, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[Ethan Morales]

It’s normal at 21 to feel nervous about making a move especially when you like someone and the signals aren’t crystal clear. Texting frequently and hanging out is a good sign she enjoys your company, but it doesn’t necessarily confirm romantic interest yet. That said, curiosity about how a friend feels and giving hugs previously are positive indicators.

April’s advice is solid: you need to create a clear “date” scenario where there’s no ambiguity. Hanging out casually at home can be comfortable, but it doesn’t give either of you a clear romantic context. Inviting her to dinner, a movie, or a planned activity signals your intentions explicitly and gives both of you the chance to explore chemistry in a way that’s distinct from friendship.

Your hesitation to initiate touch or escalate things is holding you back. While it’s wise to be respectful, mutual physical cues often follow a defined context like a date. You can test the waters safely by seeing how she responds to small gestures like walking her to her door or a light, casual touch on the arm during conversation. Her reactions will tell you a lot.

The key takeaway is that you’ll never get a definitive answer without risking a little embarrassment. Being brave enough to ask her out is the only way to know if she’s interested in more than friendship. Treat it as an opportunity to enjoy time together, rather than a high-stakes test. Even if she says no, you’ll gain clarity and experience both of which are invaluable in dating.

[Tara]

Grow up and stop wasting your time. She’s not into you, and you’re too scared to admit it because it would force you to stop hiding behind your own passivity. A woman who wants you doesn’t sit on the opposite side of the couch like you’re contagious, skip the hug, and give you zero physical cues.

She’s keeping you squarely in the “nice, harmless guy to hang out with” category, and you’re mistaking her politeness for interest. Stop clinging to daily texting like it’s proof of anything; it’s your emotional background noise, not a romantic contender.

If you had even a fraction of the confidence you pretend you don’t have, you’d ask her directly where you stand instead of inventing fantasies about “maybe she’s shy.” She’s not shy; she’s just not choosing you. Grow up, ask the damn question, get your answer, and stop wasting your time orbiting someone who isn’t orbiting you back.

[Sally]

When you like someone, even the space on a couch feels like a whole mystery you’re supposed to solve.
Here’s the thing, though some girls are warm in texts, fun in person, totally comfortable around you… and still move slow. Not because they’re not interested, but because they want you to show a little confidence first. Sitting far apart doesn’t always mean anything. Sometimes people freeze up when they actually like someone.

But the hug switching to no hug? That just sounds like awkward energy maybe she didn’t know if you wanted one.

You won’t find the answer by waiting for her to magically signal something bolder. Just ask her to hang out again, keep it simple, and the next time you’re saying goodbye, tell her it was fun and open your arms for a hug. Make it easy for her to meet you halfway.
If she leans in then, you’ll know.

[Natalie Noah]

The nervous energy and hesitation you’re experiencing, your excitement about this girl is clear, but so is your fear of taking action. It’s normal at 21 to feel unsure and overthink signals, especially when texting and hanging out can blur the lines between friendship and romance. You’ve noticed little cues, like her hugging you once and texting back, and you’re trying to piece together her feelings, but with only a few hangouts and mostly virtual contact, it’s really hard to know for sure. Right now, what you’re interpreting as mixed signals could just be her being friendly and open. It doesn’t necessarily mean she’s playing you.

The biggest takeaway here is that you haven’t actually dated her yet. Everything up to this point has been friendship-level interaction: texting, occasional hangouts, and casual movie nights. When April Masini suggests asking her out on a real date, she’s pointing out something critical: you can’t gauge romantic interest through indirect measures alone. A proper date with intention, planning, and a clear signal that this is more than just hanging out is the only way to truly see if she feels the same way about you. Flowers, dinner, and a thoughtful outing are not about grand gestures; they’re about establishing a romantic context where both of you can explore mutual attraction.

Your fear of embarrassment or rejection is understandable, especially given your past experiences, but the truth is that the longer you wait, the more your nervousness builds and the more you might misinterpret her friendliness as disinterest. She might actually be waiting for you to step up and show that you’re interested in her romantically, not just as a friend. At 21, taking the risk to ask someone out is part of the learning curve, and even if it doesn’t go perfectly, it’s a valuable experience that builds confidence for future relationships.

The idea that she’s “playing” you is likely a projection of your own fear and inexperience rather than her actual intent. You’ve only known her for two months and barely spent real, uninterrupted time together. Until you ask her on a proper date and see her response in a romantic context, it’s impossible to know where she stands. The advice is simple but powerful: stop overanalyzing, create the opportunity to show your intentions clearly, and allow her response to give you the clarity you need. That’s how you move from uncertainty to understanding, and it’s how you’ll finally know if the spark you feel is mutual.

[Member]

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