[Flirt Coach]

You ever notice how people talk a lot about falling in love, but not so much about staying in love? I’ve been through the whole thing married young, thought I had it all figured out, then watched it fall apart after eighteen years. These days, I find myself wondering: what actually keeps love alive after the spark fades? Is it trust, forgiveness, attraction… or just showing up every day, even when it’s hard?

What do you think makes love last or what made it fall apart for you?

[Ask April Masini]

Oh please! Sparks didn’t keep your marriage alive for 18 years. There has to be more. 😂

I would like to know what kept your relationship alive for 18 years, and don’t you dare say sparks. 😂

Yes, attraction is super important for getting a relationship started and keeping the fire going. But what keeps a relationship going for the long time is mutual understanding, sacrifice, mutual respect, and a willingness from both of you to make things work.

What I mean by that is:

A mutual understanding of each other’s personalities, weaknesses, and emotional needs.

Being willing to sacrifice what you want sometimes for the good of the relationship.

Respecting each other’s opinions, dreams, boundaries, and who you are as individuals.

And most importantly, choosing each other over and over again, even when things get hard.

Those are the things that make a relationship last.

And something else you should know is, the success of a relationship isn’t measured by how long it lasts. It’s measured by its quality. By the difference between who you were when you got into the relationship and who you are now.

[Serena Vale]

Honestly, falling in love is the easy part. Anyone can do that. It’s exciting, it’s new, it feels effortless. But staying in love… that’s where things get real, and most people don’t talk about that part because it’s not shiny or romantic.

From what I’ve lived through, love lasts because of a mix of very ordinary things:
showing up, talking honestly, forgiving the small stuff, and choosing each other even on the days you don’t feel your best.

What made my own relationship fall apart wasn’t one big moment. It was the slow drift, the way we stopped talking, stopped listening, stopped trying. You don’t notice it at first. You think, “We’re fine, this is just life.” But those little gaps add up. One day you realize you’re sharing a house, not a life.

I really believe staying in love is a bunch of small choices you make every day.
Not grand gestures. Not perfect trust. Not constant passion.
Just two people deciding, over and over: “I’m here. I’m trying.”

And when one person stops making those choices, the whole thing starts to crack.

So yeah, love can last, but it needs attention. It needs effort. And it needs two people who actually want to grow with each other, not just coast on the spark they had in the beginning.

That’s the real part no one puts in the movies.

[Author]

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