[justaguy]

Hows it going. Please help

Well i’v had feelings for this person since before I even knew my buddy did. (I’v been friends with her for a few years now). They been going out for about a year and a half. Just got out of Army basic training so been a while since I had talked with her, but recently we have been talking a lot. She seems kinda unhappy with her current relationship so I kinda started flirting with her and giving her compliments, which she seems to really enjoy. In the process of talking with her I found out she has feelings for me as well, although I don’t think they are as much as I have for her. I asked her one day hypothetically, if me and her current boyfriend hadn’t been friends since 6th grade if she would give me a chance, and she said she would. So I mean there is obviously feelings there on both sides. I tried getting her to hang out with me this weekend… Didn’t work. I asked her to hang out, just as friends… She said no because it would be too “weird” because it would feel like a date.

I know most of yall are gonna say you know don’t risk your friendship. But I have already decided if it is gonna be possible to have a relationship with her, i’m going for it regardless. I know i might destroy a friendship, but I wouldn’t mind if I had a chance with her. She’s that amazing. So I mean theres feelings on both sides. What all can I do to stick out and have her choose me, especially if she is reluctant to hang out?

Little info on me. I’m army infantry, but ain’t typical army jerk. I’m a really nice/sensitive/religous guy. Not really that agressive going after women. Should I be?

I think she’s as confused as me right now so I don’t want to put too much preassure on her. But what all can I do to show her how much I care for her and stick out to her as a better person than her current boyfriend? They are always argueing and stuff so I don’t see how she can be that happy. She deserves to be treated so much better. I don’t know. I just wish I knew what to do. Never felt like this before. She’s the only girl I’m not nervous around and I feel like a kid again when I talk to her. I’m not a real talkative guy so I can’t hold a conversation with anybody, but with her I can. I get the butterflys and everything. Just an awesome feeling. Talking with her is definately the highlight of my day, nothing I enjoy more. I’ve had feelings for her for a long time so it’s not like its just a thing that will pass.

I really appreciate it.

[Ask April Masini]

One of the first rules of dating is to pick someone who’s available! 😕 The woman you’re interested in has a boyfriend — regardless of the fact that you’re friends with her boyfriend. While I realize that you’ve decided you want her, and are willing to risk the friendship you have with her boyfriend in order to forge a relationship with her, the part you can’t control is [i]her[/i] behavior. If she doesn’t want to date you because she’s committed to her boyfriend, you’re going to be out of luck. Her decision to break up with him or stay with him is going to be the determining factor in whether or not you get to date her.

No matter how wonderful you are, if she’s not interested in dating you, the best you can do is to continue to balance showing her what a great guy you are, how interested in her you are, and how great your life is even if she’s not in it. While that may seem easy, it’s not! It’s a big, fat balancing act, and while you say you’re not very aggressive 🙄 I don’t buy that at all! You’ve already asked her to “hang out” with you alone, and she said no because it was too much like a date, so I’d advise you to back off and not ask her out on a date again.

The other part of this equation is that you may not get her — because she’s taken. So, be your best self, hang back more than you have been so that she can see that you’re a prize, but that you’re not going to continue to chase her if she won’t give you something to chase, and that you have a life of your own.

The rest is up to her.

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