Take a deep breath, Jessica
It’s normal to be anxious prior to your first date
This may sound cliché, but all you have to do is be yourself.
Here are some tips to have a great first date:
Most first-date faux pas happen when people try to act out of character,
But that doesn’t mean you should dress up like a sob on your first date. I’m only saying don’t try too hard, dressing like you’re off to the orchestra,
Even though you’re nervous, it is also no excuse to bring a third person as security. It’s rude. If you have safety concerns, meet in a public place, not one of your homes,
You may want to check Instagram, Snapchat, or TikTok. Don’t. Pay attention to your date. Being on your phone during a date is rude.
Still on being present, limit yourself to two drinks. It’s a great way to make sure you’re present and not loosening inhibitions.
If you can’t get through a first date without getting drunk, consider staying home with Netflix, HBO, and Amazon Prime instead.
Then, my big No No, sex on the first date
Sex clouds your thinking. When you have sex with someone, the relationship really shifts focus and becomes about doing it again —the sex, not the date, Any clarity about this person being a future partner goes out the window, in most cases.
And to answer your question “Should a first date feel exciting, or just comfortable?”
Being comfortable is what matters most. After the first 5-10 minutes, your anxiety should be gone. You should feel safe, calm, and able to be yourself.
If you’re still sweating uncomfortable an hour in, that’s your gut telling you something’s off. Listen to it.
Lastly, there’s no magic formula for deciding if you want a second date. Trust me, if you wanted a second date, you’d know. You’d already be hoping they ask you out again. If you don’t feel the need to see them again, then you don’t. Simple as that.
