[Tattgirl]

Hi there 🙂 I have been in a relationship for 2 and a half years. We are both 46, single parents with teen kids (his 19, mine 18 and 15) my boyfriend and I love each other but before we met he lived alone for 10 yrs no relationships. He continually tells me he loves me but his actions don’t match the words, I think… I feel he takes me for granted and I am upset that after all this time we only date (we stay over one night a week, on weekend but we do talk daily) and there are no plans to move in together and share a future. I have tried staying over through the week but he didn’t meet me halfway and stay at mine, so I stopped trying.It feels like a long distance relationship and my emotional and sexual needs are not being met. Whenever I have tried to bring this up with him it goes nowhere…he gets upset and says he doesnt want to lose me but it’s not the right time and maybe when the kids are older, but my kids don’t have a problem. His daughter recently got engaged and spends every night at her fiancées house (he lives with his parents) I’m not sure what’s going on and feel stuck, hurt and let down. is it reasonable for me to expect more?Please help…thank you

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You have every right to expect that after two years, he’d not only move in with you, but marry you! He’s 46, divorced, and his daughter is no longer a minor child — and she’s engaged to be married — all good reasons for him to marry you. But since he’s not, I think you have to face the fact that he’s not the marrying type any more. In fact, he’s stuck in a rut.

My advice to you is to cut your losses. He may realize once you’re gone, that he doesn’t want to lose you and step up to the plate. Don’t give him an ultimatum, though. Just end it civilly and lovingly, knowing your needs are not going to be met as long as you continue with this man in this pattern.

I hope that helps.

Let me know what happens. See you @AskAprilcom on Twitter, and on Facebook [url][/url].

[Tattgirl]

Thank you April 🙂 it’s what I’ve been thinking for some time, that I wasn’t being unreasonable. I should have mentioned that infact he’s never been married (I was happily married – But was widowed) or even, or ever engaged himself. He has lived with the mother of his child. It was a very abusive relationship and she had a major gambling addiction. His daughter and her mother are estranged and he has raised her alone for the past 10 yrs. He is an amazing father. I think he has major fears about commitment, but after two years? Also I don’t really care about marriage or need a ring on my finger – but I’d like to live together happily. I think we’d both have happier lives. I dont want to issue ultimatums, i think your advice is perfect. Thank you. Will post what happens 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m glad I could help. 😀

When you get back out there in the dating world, you might want to consider reading my book, Think & Date Like A Man, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], that you can buy on this link or else on Amazon or the website for Barnes & Noble. It would be a good idea for you to focus on finding, getting and keeping Mr. Right so you don’t waste time. There are specific things you can look for to know if the guy you’re with is the one who will be there for you in a way that you want him to be — whether it’s married, living together or just monogamous and committed in some other format.

See you on Facebook: [url][/url]. 🙂

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