[IrishHeart101]

“We are great friends, we have only known each other for a little over a month but we are very close. He started coming over to hang out with my roommate, her girlfriend and I, because they were friends in high school. But now it has become that just me and him have been hanging out all the time. With in the first week we met, we became comfortable with eachother, I am a shy person but I easily became close to him. He is a very friendly guy. When it is just me and him hanging out at night we usually end up wrestling or falling asleep leaning against one another. We went to a friends b-day party, the day before he asked me if “we” were going to the party, even though we are not “together”. He has told me some very personal things about his past that is not easy for a person to deal with, and I have told him some personal things.” This is what my situation was before now. You told me to wait for him to ask me, he obviously has not asked me out, and things have changed….. please help…I really am confused about what to do…If I have to I will “just be friends” with the guy. I am frustrated and confused.

The guy that I like just got a new job. Before he got this job we would hang out a lot. We would watch movies, talk, wrestle, and joke around. I was confused about if he liked me before because he is such a friendly guy to everyone, and I didn’t know if he liked me or was like that with everyone cause I had only known him for a month or two. Now that he has a job we dont hang out as much, which is understandable because of school and work. He seems to act differently around me now, I dont know if he relized that I like him, and he doesnt have the same feelings, or he likes me but has started to “avoid” me. I tried to give him hints that I like him, but I may have been too strong about how I feel. He still looks into my eyes when we tease eachother, he still sits at the same lunch table with my roommate, her girlfriend and me. He still will text me, and I still will text him. He will try and keep the conversation going sometimes. I invited him to a movie with me and a few friends the other night, he went with us. When I was driving back he jokingly started pulling the e-brake and when I went to stop him, he pulled his hand away kinda quickly when my hand touched his, it was on my part accidental that our hands touched. I dont know if this makes any sense. He is sending me many mixed messages, I really love our friendship, and I dont want it to be strange, if he doesnt feel the same way for me as I do him, which is why I am not saying anything directly about it to him. What I was wondering is whether or not I should let it go for good, or give it up to see if it builds back up to where it used to be.

[Anonymous]

Waiting for things to go back to the way they were sounds like a good idea but it could end up going no where since he is so busy. It sounded like he was at least interested. In my opinion being direct can be a turn on. Next time you’re together I would let him know how you feel but also let him know that you’re cool with just being friends if that’s what he wants. Keep it casual and light and see what he says. That way you’ll know and if he says he’s into you you can go from there and if he isn’t you’ll at least have a good friend and be able to move on.

[Ask April Masini]

Because you didn’t post on your previous message, I’m not sure what I advised you before, or what your history is, so for future, if you want me to understand previous posts, please post your new question on the tale end of the old post — it will automatically jump the whole thing to the front of the queue!

That said, I stand by what you state in this post that I originally advised — that you shouldn’t do anything aggressive, like ask him out or call him. I’m not sure why you’re confused, because he hasn’t done anything that indicates he wants to be anything more than flirty friends. If a guy likes you, he’ll show you by making a move or asking you on a date that is just the two of you. When you do things like invite him to the movies, you take away the opportunity for him to show you how he feels about you, and it can create confusion — like you’re having now! 😕

This guy isn’t showing you any signs that he wants to be your boyfriend — especially when he accidentally touches your hand and then pulls away first. He just wants to be friends and hang out and flirt with you.

Don’t be confused. Accept the fact that he’s not boyfriend material for you, and find someone who is! 🙂

[Author]

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