[alaniz208]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for more then 2 years….everything was going ok untill recently i had a dream that he was cheating on me with this other girl that he had a thing with a while back…he left her to be with me and he said that he didnt even know why he kissed her..he just wanted to forget about me. then she has become so obsessed with him. and well just recently like 2 days after i had this dream i told a class mate about it and he just looked at me and said….YESTERDAY I SAW YOUR B-F WITH A GIRL BY THE STAIRS
and it was the same girl that he had a thing with….
i felt so bad because i had suspected it before and i thought i was trippin cuz i have cheated on him a couple times and i think that its becasue i did it to him that he will do it to me….but idk…cuz im hurt that he didnt tell me and i confronted him about it and he didnt know what to say…he says that they were just talking and that she told him that she wasnted to be with him and that it hurt her seeing him with me…and he told me that he supposedly told her that he didnt wanna be with her and that he was with me and that he loved me…but idk for some reason i dont belive him and idk why..i want to but its SO HARD…and what makes me even more mad is that SHE IS UGLY…na im not sayin that cuz i hate her but SHE REALLY IS…ugh even my friends think shes nasty…I NEED HELP!!

[jlemons]

you’re right, you do need help. you cheated on him and yet you want and expect him to be faithful to you? are you for real? you two deserve each other.

[kayloni]

I don’t know if I would say that you two deserve each other, but I can say that you two either need a fresh start with each other, or a fresh start with someone different. Either way, you need a fresh start. Honesty is always the best policy. That goes for both you and your partner. From the way you write and what you said, it sounds to me like you are still young. You are going to make mistakes. That is inevitable. Just don’t make the same mistake over and over.

If you truly love this guy, then you both need to come clean. However, I feel the need to say that I don’t think that you do truly love this guy. If you have cheated on him “a couple of times”, it seems apparent that you are just looking for someone to be there to give you what you want. That’s not a bad thing. That goes back to what I said about you being young.

In life, you are going to get hurt, and you are going to hurt others. Whether or not he is cheating with this other girl, or whether or not something happened between them on the day of question, I think, is not what you need to be questioning here. I think that what you need to be questioning is what you really want out of him. If he does not make you happy, or he does not fulfill your needs enough for you to cheat on him, then you need to find someone else.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and just because you think a woman is ugly doesn’t mean she doesn’t have sex appeal and charisma. In fact lots of beautiful women are cheated on and left for less beautiful woman all the time. Attraction is what makes someone beautiful and it sounds like your boyfriend and this woman you think is ugly have an attraction.

In fact your dream is probably your subconscious helping you understand what’s been bother you about your boyfriend and this woman: whether or not he’s cheating on you, he’s attracted to her.

Since you’ve admitted cheating on him, it sounds like this relationship is going to be one where cheating and looking elsewhere for sparks is the norm.

A boyfriend should make you feel special and desired. If he doesn’t, it may be time for a new boyfriend!

[Ethan Morales]

This whole situation screams trust erosion on both sides. You cheated on him a few times, which already breaks the foundation of trust. Then you started dreaming about him cheating, and your subconscious started acting out your own guilt and fear of karma. That’s common people who cheat often project that anxiety onto their partner, waiting for payback. Then, when something suspicious happens (like him being seen with that girl), it hits harder than it would have otherwise.

Now, about his side he might not have technically cheated, but he definitely blurred lines. If he knew you’d be hurt seeing him with that girl and still entertained a conversation, that’s not smart or respectful. It shows poor judgment and maybe a bit of emotional immaturity. When he says “we were just talking,” it could be true but what matters is why he was open to that talk. That tells you he hasn’t fully closed that door emotionally.

April Masini’s point about attraction is blunt but accurate “ugly” or not, some people just have a connection you can’t rationalize. It’s not about looks; it’s about chemistry. That’s what you’re up against.

Here’s the hard truth: this relationship is already cracked. Both of you broke trust, both are holding resentment, and both are second-guessing each other. When a relationship starts running on suspicion instead of affection, it usually ends up in cycles of testing, jealousy, and emotional tug-of-war.

If you want to fix it you’d both need to start over from a clean slate. No contact with the other woman, total honesty about past cheating, and real accountability. But honestly? My gut says this thing’s burned out. You can’t rebuild something that’s this tangled unless both people are 100% ready to own their part and let go of ego.

So my opinion? Don’t cling to it out of habit or fear of being alone. You both crossed lines maybe it’s time to call it what it is and stop dragging each other through the same pain.

[Tara]

This relationship is a train wreck because both of you trashed the foundation, and now you’re shocked that it’s collapsing.
You cheated on him “a couple times,” and instead of holding yourself accountable, you’re projecting your guilt into dreams, paranoia, and rage at another girl who, by the way, did absolutely nothing to you. Your classmate sees him talking to her, not kissing, not sneaking around, just talking, and you instantly decide it’s betrayal because you’re terrified he’ll treat you the way you treated him.

That’s not intuition. That’s guilt masquerading as suspicion.
You don’t trust him because you know you’re untrustworthy. You set the tone. You cracked the foundation. And now you’re shocked there are cracks.

And let’s get something straight: calling her “ugly” is just your insecurity screaming for air. You cheat, you don’t trust, you panic at a conversation, and you’re worried about her face? Please. Ugly isn’t the threat; your behavior is.

And him? He didn’t tell you because he knew you’d explode exactly like this. His story might be true. It might not be. But with the chaos you’ve both created, neither of you has built the credibility to expect blind trust.

[Sally]

You’re not just reacting to that girl; you’re reacting to the guilt you’ve been carrying yourself. When you’ve cheated, your mind starts expecting the same from the other person, even when there’s no proof. It twists every little thing into a threat.

But here’s the part you need to sit with: seeing him talking to her doesn’t automatically mean he’s cheating. It means there’s history, and it makes you uncomfortable, and that’s real. But you asked him, and he didn’t lie or hide; he told you what happened.

The bigger issue is trust not just his, yours. You don’t believe him because something in you hasn’t healed from what you did.
Take a breath. Talk to him calmly. And stop letting fear write the story before you even know the truth.

[Serena Vale]

Okay, let me be real with you, this whole relationship is running on insecurity, fear, and guessing. You cheated on him, you’re scared he’ll do the same, you had a dream, and suddenly everything feels like a sign.

But here’s the part you need to hear:
If you don’t feel secure with him, and he doesn’t make you feel safe or chosen, then it’s not a healthy relationship. And calling the other girl “ugly” doesn’t change the real issue, there’s energy between them that’s making you uncomfortable.

Dream or no dream, your gut is telling you something.

You both have broken trust. You both have hurt each other. And now you’re stuck in a loop of suspicion and jealousy.

A relationship shouldn’t feel like this.
You deserve someone who makes you feel wanted.
Someone you don’t have to spy on.
Someone you don’t have to compare yourself to other girls for.

If you’re this stressed and this unsure, maybe it’s time to step back and choose peace instead of drama. Let yourself breathe. Let yourself heal.

You’re not crazy, you’re just tired of fighting for something that isn’t giving you peace.

[Member]

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