[Help]

Hi April,

My fiancee has been starting arguments about stupid things like for one instance I spent two hours(running to the store, ordering carpet and getting dinner) with her daughter teaching her how to drive(she just got her permit)and she said I spent more time with her daughter then her. Then yesterday I spent all day working on the house and literally didn’t set down till 5 minutes before she got home and she started a fight because when she came in I didn’t get up from the couch fast enough that I should have gotton up before she came in the front door. She does not like me spending time or even talking with the kids over her. I could be with her all day spend 5 minutes talking to the kids and she gets mad and says that I don’t care about her or what she is doing. Then this morning she just wants to argue. She saw Dr. OZ last night and they showed the signs of when a guy cheats. Now today she just keeps telling me that she has never put me in a position to make me think that she has cheated(but she has but i didn’t argue)and just seems like she says things so I will argue with her and when i don’t she gets mad and tells me i don’t fight hard enough for her. I am confused. Am I just that stupid and need to get a clue that she does not want to be with me or what? She also asked me if I still wanted to marry her even if she had cheated on me and I replied why? is there something I need to know about? She never answers me when I ask her if she has cheated she will laugh and ask when could I possibly have done that or says do you really think I would do that to you? She says today when I dropped her off at work we are not gonna make it are we several times and I replied we are only not gonna make it if you dont want to make it. I just don’t know any more? any advie would be greatly appreciated.

[Ask April Masini]

Something is definitely wrong. That much is clear. What the problem is is less clear, but you can only go by what you do know. Since your fiance seems to be very troubled, it seems prudent to put a hold on the engagement until the two of you work things through and get to a place where you both feel that this is a relationship you want to see through. Right now, based on what you’ve written, your fiance is being very passive aggressive and unclear about what the problem is and that behavior is making you unhappy and unsettled.

Take a break from the engagement, and if things don’t get better, you need to move on. If they do get better, then the break from the pressure of an impending marriage, will be exactly what you needed.

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