[hotb5sauce]

At the beginning of my 8 month relationship with my GF. My GF told me that she was a virgin and that she wanted to wait until we get married to have sex. I told my GF that I wasn’t a virgin but, I lied to my GF about the amount of people I had sex with. I told her 2 when there was 8. When ask did I have an STD? I said no! because I was tested before I started the relationship with her and that’s TRUE!! My GF and I were in love from a long distance she let me meet her family, she felf as though I was truly something special. We still haven’t had sex. At the 8 month mark I started telling myself how can I love her if I lied to her. So, I told the truth and she hated me for it. She said she never wants to speak again. It took a full month until things start getting ok. Now things are getting better but she doesn’t want to get in a relationship with me because she feel as though I would lie to her again. Also, she feelings that she really haven’t been doing alot of dating and she wants to see whats out there. We are now friends but it feels like a relationship.Should we be friends? I still call her everyday and she likes it when I call. Is there still hope in our relationship? Also, our relationship is long distance which means I only see her like every 3 months. I don’t know what to do. I really love her and she recently told me she loves me too. Maybe because I made a surprise visit to her on valentine’s day.

[Ask April Masini]

Well, I think that there are two big issues here…

First, is this statement: “she feels that she really has not done a lot of dating and she wants to see whats out there.”

And the second is: “Our relationship is long distance which means I only see her like every 3 months.”

Based upon your email, you both sound very, very young to me. That said, honestly, I agree with your former girlfriend that she needs to date other people and see what’s out there. What’s more is, I believe you should be doing the same thing too.

Regarding the second issue… Quite frankly, I am not sure why either of you would elect to be in a relationship whereby you can only see each other once every three months (unless one or both of you are in the military)? Long distance relationships are very difficult to maintain and (generally speaking) only work out when one of the parties plans to move to where the other is.

My suggestion would be for you to find someone to date closer to home.

[Ethan Morales]

You broke something important not irreparably, but you broke it. Lying about your sexual history was a big deal for her, especially because she’d clearly framed sex in moral/relational terms (waiting, virginity). Your honesty later was the right move in principle, but the damage came from the original lie, not the confession. She trusted you with a core part of herself; you gave half-truths instead. That’s why she’s guarded now.

April’s bluntness about both of you dating others is realistic. You’re young, long distance, and only seeing each other every three months. That’s a brutal environment for rebuilding trust absence magnifies doubt. If she truly needs to explore and you want growth, it’s not cruel to acknowledge that both of you might need to see other people for a while and figure out what you actually want. It’s better than stagnating in a limbo of “maybe.”

If you want a real shot at getting her back, don’t lean on words alone make a plan and stick to it. Concrete steps look like this: 1) Give her space now cut back on daily calls and let her breathe. 2) Arrange an in-person meeting where you both speak honestly about expectations (exclusivity, timeline, boundaries). 3) Offer a trust-rebuild plan: regular check-ins, transparency about dating, and clear, measurable commitments (e.g., 30 days of no dating, meet every 4–6 weeks, open calendar windows, etc.). Trust isn’t rebuilt by promises it’s rebuilt by repeatable, visible actions.

Be realistic about outcomes. Even with the most honest effort, she may still decide she needs to date others. That’s painful, but not a failure it’s compatibility. If she says she wants to explore, respect it. If you try to control or beg, you’ll fast-track the breakup. If she wants to try again, don’t rush sex or intimacy as proof let consistency show it.

Practical next move for you back off the daily calls. Send one calm message: something like, “I understand why you’re hesitant. I care about you and I want to respect your space while also being honest about what I want. I’m happy to meet and make a plan if you are. If not, tell me what you need.” Short. Not needy. Clear.

Don’t confuse wanting her with needing her. Wanting is fine. Needing can push people away. Give her the space to decide, show up with steady reliability if she asks for it, and be ready to walk away if her answer is “I need to see what’s out there.” That’s how pride and dignity survive heartbreak and sometimes that’s what eventually brings people back together, too.

[Natalie Noah]

You were brave to tell the truth. Secrets rot relationships from the inside, and owning up to your mistake was the right, painful step. That said, I also feel for her being told someone lied about something so intimate when she trusted you with her whole future hurts deeply. Her fear that you might lie again isn’t just about the past number; it’s about safety. Right now she needs evidence that you are trustworthy: consistent honesty, transparency, and time. Saying “I love you” is sweet, but actions that match those words are what will heal the wound.

Her wanting to “see what’s out there” and the three-month visits are huge, practical problems. At 8 months into a long-distance relationship, both of you deserve clarity about whether you’re building toward the same life or simply filling a lonely space. Long distance can work only if there’s a plan timelines, visits that actually feel like steps forward, and emotional work to keep intimacy real. Without that, it’s easy for one person to drift or to decide they need to explore. If she’s asked for space to date, the kindest thing you can do is respect that boundary and focus on showing up in the ways you can: be reliably honest, support her autonomy, and let her choose.

There may be hope, but it won’t be passive hope. If you want this to continue, give her time and proof: stop over-calling (give her breathable space), be transparent about your life, and create a clear plan for how you’ll close the distance or deepen the relationship. If she chooses to explore, protect yourself by dating too, or at least by deciding what you need to feel secure. Love is worth trying for, but it’s not worth basing your life on “maybe.” Ground your love in actions, and then you’ll know either it grows into something steady, or you both redirect your hearts toward healthier places.

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