[icanthelpit]

Ok…get a good laugh at this one. I have been seeing a guy for a few weeks. Everything was great. Several romantic dates, phone calls and text messages everyday, and going out with friends (going together). So, one night, in a drunkin state I told him I loved him….eeekkk….I do not remember this! I found out the next day when he texted me to see if I remembered saying it. My response was “no, oopse, sorry I was drunk, I don’t love you and we both know I don’t love you”. We talked later that night and then saw eachother out the next night. I spent that night with him, no sex (I add this to see if there is any importance) he just held me all night. I left the next morning. He has not called me, I called once and did not leave a message, and he has not called me back…or at all. I have asked all my friends, male and female, and I keep getting the same response…We saw you together. He likes you. He’ll call…. I don’t know. So I guess my question is…Can I recover from this? And if so how?

[JMG]

Call him, text him, leave a message for crying out loud!! If he doesn’t respond to that (like an invitation to go do something, etc.), then you can begin the freak-out session. For all he knows, you have found it so awkward since that little episode that you were calling to break-up with him, but just didn’t want to leave it on his voice mail. Or, since you said that you both know you don’t love him, he may be questioning how much you are interested in the first place (even though it would be understandable that you don’t love him at this point). He may be suffering from a bit of a bruised ego here. Make it clear that you are receptive to spending more time with him, etc. and continuing what you’ve got going. If he’s still not responding, move on, and don’t blame yourself for what you did/did not say — there may be a lot of other reasons to why he’s suddenly gone cold (if he really has).

[icanthelpit]

Thank you. So…since then I’ve talked to him and we’ve hung out several times. We kinda talked about it and he told me that he does like me and wants to be in a relationship with me but is unsure if he can give me what I deserve. Soooo I don’t know. I guess it’s either the truth or just blowing smoke. Do women really do this to themselves? Do we just have to pick at things until they are dead and then dig them up and do it all over again? Why can’t we just let things be? Guy’s don’t do that do they??

[Ask April Masini]

He’s not that interested, and that’s why he said he can’t give you what you deserve. That’s code for he’s not interested. Luckily, it’s only been a couple of weeks, and not a big investment on your part. Next! 🙂

[Natalie Noah]

This situation reflects a common pattern where uncertainty and mixed signals create emotional confusion. You clearly care about him, but his words saying he likes you yet “can’t give you what you deserve” are a classic red flag. Often, phrases like this are a gentle way of expressing a lack of full commitment while trying to avoid outright rejection. It can feel hopeful, because he’s affirming some level of interest, but it’s also a signal that he may not be willing or able to meet your emotional needs in a consistent, reliable way. This creates a cycle of doubt and overthinking, which is exactly what you’re experiencing.

The key here is to pay attention to actions, not just words. If he truly cared and wanted to build something meaningful, he would find ways to show it, even if imperfectly. Hesitation or repeated self-limiting statements are often a reflection of his own priorities and boundaries, not your worth. While it’s natural to analyze and second-guess, the healthiest move is to evaluate whether this connection is truly serving you or if it’s keeping you stuck in uncertainty. Focusing on what you deserve a partner who can fully meet your emotional needs will guide you toward relationships that are genuinely reciprocal and fulfilling.

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