- This topic has 4 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 6 days, 6 hours ago by
Natalie Noah.
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July 29, 2009 at 6:20 pm #1111
Kadaj06
Member #4,237I’ve been dating my boyfriend for three months, and the first month was terrific. However, recently we have not been having sex or doing anything sexual. He says that he just has not been in the mood. I asked if he still finds me attractive, and he does. I don’t know what to do to rekindle our sexual passion, and I have tried almost everything. Is my relationship over because my boyfriend does not desire to have sex with me?
August 14, 2009 at 12:17 pm #9802wacki 0335
Member #4,544I believe if he is a young healthy heterosexual male sex is important! The best thing to do is ask him what the problem is. August 14, 2009 at 2:49 pm #9805
Ask April MasiniKeymasterBefore you jump to any conclusions, you should know I’ve dealt with this problem in many, many couples — dating, married, divorced and otherwise. Sex is important in a relationship, barring any medical conditions, and there are ways to get your sex life back on track. Go to the link at the top of the page and click on Dating Advice Books. Then scroll down and buy my book, Romantic Date Ideas. It’s only $14.95 and it will help you set up situations that are designed to reignite the spark that seems to have gone out in your relationship lately.
Lots of times couples get stuck in a rut and it takes one of you to start heating things up to get the other one turned on. I have lots of tips and advice for different dates that will get things going for the two of you, in this book. For $14.95, you may end up with a sexy relationship again — and at that price, you don’t have to pay an expensive therapist, doctor or lose a great boyfriend because you don’t know how to get out of your rut.
Let me know if it helps.
November 7, 2025 at 5:27 pm #47718
Ethan MoralesMember #382,560April’s advice emphasizes that a temporary drop in sexual desire doesn’t mean the relationship is over. She suggests that many couples experience ruts, and often it just takes effort creative dates, intimacy-building activities, or small changes to reignite the spark. She doesn’t see it as a dealbreaker, but rather something that can be addressed with attention and intention.
The relationship isn’t over; focus on reconnecting emotionally and physically, and try to create opportunities to bring back intimacyDecember 4, 2025 at 10:05 am #49650
Natalie NoahMember #382,516I want you to know that what you’re feeling is normal, and it doesn’t automatically mean your relationship is over. Three months in, sometimes the initial spark naturally shifts as you both settle into routines, responsibilities, or even just mental and physical energy levels. His lack of sexual desire right now doesn’t necessarily reflect his attraction to you or the quality of your connection. What’s important is understanding that intimacy isn’t just physical, it’s emotional too, and keeping that emotional closeness alive can help reignite the physical spark over time.
What I hear from April’s advice, and I agree with wholeheartedly, is that sometimes it takes a little creativity and effort to bring back excitement. Planning thoughtful, playful, and romantic dates can help you both reconnect in ways that feel fresh and fun. It’s not about forcing him or making him feel pressured, it’s about creating experiences that naturally draw you closer, emotionally and physically. A gentle, patient approach, combined with open communication about your needs and desires, can often bring the intimacy back without fear or tension. Remember, love and desire often need space, nurturing, and little sparks of surprise to grow again.
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