[Anonymous]

Hi april..

My boyfriend and i have been together for a year and a half. He’s brilliant, loving, caring, supportive and all of that. But there are some issues between us which have been a main source of controversy. Well, we have different interests. I’m more of an introvert who prefers to curl up at home with a good book whereas he’s a rather active guy, he loves running and is very enthusiastic about it. He’s always eager to take part in marathons and all that. I run too but not to take part in marathons, just to keep myself fit. Therefore each time he has to go for training, i don’t train with him, so he actually got a running buddy who’s a female and a few years older than him. They have common interests and have a passion for running. This is why i always feel very uncomfortable and insecure.
My boyfriend is very encouraging when i tell him what i like to do or take part in, he always gives me his fullest support and i’m really touched. But when he tells me he wants to go overseas for marathons, for attachments and all that, i’ll get upset because i don’t want to be geographically separated from him. I know i’m very selfish and he told me he feels very bad and hurt when i don’t give him the support in doing things he likes to. He wants me to feel proud of him for all his accomplishments. I kept blaming myself because of this. I can’t control my emotions and when he told me his running buddy invited him to take part in marathons overseas, i got upset, because they will be spending alot of time training together. I feel really sour and miserable. And i even thought of myself as a major stumbling block, preventing him from achieving his goals in life. I wanted to tell him that we shouldn’t be together because i’m not being a good girlfriend, but I know he would be really disappointed and heartbroken if that happens because he loves me alot. So april, how can i put aside all these negative thoughts and emotions so i can be a better girlfriend and learn to support all the things he wants to do?

[Ask April Masini]

If you want to be a better girlfriend, then support your man. It’s that easy! 🙂

If you’re worried his female running partner is becoming competition for you, then step up your game, and [i]you[/i] start running with him! Or if you don’t want to run with him, go with him to the park or the track where he trains, and sit with a book and cheer him on as he does laps. Meet him after his run with a cold water. Wipe the sweat from his brow with a cloth. Bring him lunch. There are lots of ways to support him by running — or not running. But sitting home worrying isn’t going to help your relationship — especially when his female running partner may be interested in him and vice versa.

When he tells you he wants to go overseas to run in marathons, and his female running partner is going with him because you’ve defaulted on supporting him in these marathons, [i]you offer to go with him![/i] You can be his number one fan without being his running partner. Maybe if he feels more support from you, he won’t want the female running partner so much any more.

It’s one thing to be upset about a problem, but it’s another thing to do something about your feelings. And in answer to your question (How do I put aside negative thoughts and emotions and be a better girlfriend?), the answer is to get up and do something different than what you’ve been doing! It’s as simple as that.

I hope that helps! 🙂

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