Relationship Advice Forum AskApril Masini

I Bee-Lieve

How to tell a player I am done..

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  • #5829
    sungeun11
    Member #330,166

    Hi there,

    I have been on a few dates with this guys for nearly 2 months now. I met him through online dating site and it’s very clear that he is meeting a bunch of women while we are dating. Although I don’t think there is anything wrong with that, I get annoyed when I feel like I am being treated as a back up girl. I know I deserve better!

    I never let him know that this is how I feel since we are not in a relationship. He is asking me when I can see him again and I want to text him back that I don’t want to see him anymore. (we only talk via texts)

    How should I respond to him? I don’t want to appear sad or upset because I am not and I also want to keep my dignity.

    Thanks!!!

    #24236
    Ask April Masini
    Keymaster

    There’s a big difference between a player and someone who’s looking for Ms. Right and isn’t sure he’s found her yet or not. Since you’ve only known each other for two months, he’s probably still trying to figure out if you’re the one he wants to be monogamous with or not, and he’s also keeping his options open. Especially, when you meet on a dating site where there are lots of possible dating options, you should expect competition.

    You haven’t really mentioned how you feel about him — except that you’re insulted that he’s dating other women at the same time. During these past two months of dating, you should decide if you think he’s someone worth continuing to invest your time and energy in or not — and frankly, you can be doing the same that he is: playing the field until you find someone you think is right.

    Look at the bigger picture: You’re trying to find Mr. Right, and dating involves competition. Don’t get stuck on the fact that he’s dating other people — instead, figure out if he is your Mr. Right — or if someone else who’s out there is. 😉

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    #24867
    sungeun11
    Member #330,166

    I totally agree with you that he can date others. However, I definitely feel like he is using me for you know what. It’s ok if I am not his Ms. Right but using someone for sex while you are dating others doesn’t sound right to me and I am hurt. He is definately sleeping with multiple girls as well.

    I had sex with him because I initially thought he was a nice guy and I liked him at the time. I just gave him the benefit of the doubt which later proven that I was wrong. Sure, I should be doing the same thing and date others, but once I am sexually involve with one guy, I can’t date others. Once I realised he is using me, I avoided him. He still texts me when he needs some.

    Now I just need to move on from him. Please help me what I should tell him via text. I want to remain cool. This is at least what I can do for myself to save some dignity.

    #24805
    Ask April Masini
    Keymaster

    Just tell him that it was nice getting to know him, but you’ve decided to move on, and wish him good luck. Then, if he continues to text you, ignore his texts. It’s that simple. Once you do move on, you’re going to feel a lot better about yourself and dating. 😉

    [b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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