[storminateacup]

Hello! I am in quite a predicament here.

This guy, I’ll call him John, has been basically my best friend for about a year now. I’ve known him for almost two years. I know, it isn’t very long, but we are pretty close. We do almost everything together. We go out to breakfast, lunch, dinner, we go to the movies, we spend days on the beach, we have spent days inside just watching movies and being lazy, etc. We hang out almost every day. And I really enjoy his company. Recently my feelings have developed into more. And I never used to think he was my type, but now I think he is just adorable.

Here’s the thing, I dated his good friend, I’ll call him Bob. When I first met John and Bob, Bob would tell me that John had a thing for me, and that he was too shy to say anything. He brought it up in front of him a few times,and he never denied it, but he never confirmed it. Somehow, though, I ended up dating Bob. I remember one night, when John first found out about it, he acted extremely strange. We were at a friends house, and John randomly became all touchy-feely on me, which made Bob and I uncomfortable. And then out of nowhere, he tries to punch Bob in the face. He was completely drunk, and then I never heard or saw anything strange from him after that night.

Anyways, Bob ended up moving away, so that relationship eventually withered away. At that time, I wasn’t as close to John as I am now, but since Bob moved away, we’ve been very close. I always tell him about my guy problems (I dated a guy after Bob, and would tell John about it all the time). When it went sour, he was a shoulder to cry on, and eventually he said he was sick of hearing about it.

So here’s where I’m at now. John ended up getting me a job where he works… so now we see each other even more than we used to. And one night when we went out to drink, everywhere we went, people just assumed we were together. Ever since that night, I’ve been looking at him differently. A couple of my girlfriends said right to us: “You two should date!”. I didn’t say anything, neither did he. The subject of him being a “nice guy” was brought up after that, and he said “nice guys finish last.” After he left, my friend said “Why aren’t you dating him? He’s so sweet and he obviously likes you! You’re stupid if you let that go, I’ll take him!”… Yeah, so she made me realize what I’ve had in front of me all this time.

The thing is, I refuse to bring it up to him. I have a feeling he can sense the shift in our friendship, because now when we drink together and he gets kind of close to me, I don’t shy away like I used to, and just other little things. And yeah, when he is drunk he will get flirty with me. Only when he is drunk though. Anyways, I know he won’t bring it up either, if he does like me. And I’m afraid because now we work together (which even coworkers tell me we should date)… and he is my best friend! So I have no idea how to go about this. I’d be mortified if, in fact, he really only looks at me as a friend.

So how do I proceed without saying anything directly? And does it seem like I even have a chance? (So weird that I’m even asking this about him! And it’s true, he’s not an asshole guy. I’ve never seen him with another girl, hit on another girl, let alone even talk about girls!)

Thank you!!!

[AskApril Masini]

You need to show him that you’re interested in him as more than a friend by flirting with him. 😎 This may feel uncomfortable at first because it is a change, but it’s going to be a change in the direction you want to go in, and you have to keep your eye on the ball. At the same time, you need to stop being so available to him as a friend, and give him something to chase. Make him feel ecstatic when he does get to see you, and be super flirty when that time occurs so there is no mistaking your feelings for him. Basically, you need to take yourself out of the friend zone so that he has an opportunity to date you. And if he doesn’t, my advice is to find someone who will. 😉

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